Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bud Select



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Pop quiz, Hotshot. What looks like urine but tastes just as bad? Did you guess urine? You did? Why would you guess urine? I just said it looks like urine, I didn't say it was urine. Geez, you need to pay better attention.

Let's try this again. What looks like urine but tastes just as bad? Did you guess motor oil? Jesus. What's wrong with you. Why on earth are you able to compare the taste of motor oil AND urine? Did you drink both? Please, oh please seek professional help.

Anyway, Weirdo......The correct answer was "Bud Select." I know this could get me shot in the south, but I'm going to say it anyway. Mass produced American beer sucks. It's watery and it all tastes the same. Studies have even been conducted that prove the average person who prefers one of the major three beers (Coors, Bud, Miller) can't even identify which beer is his favorite in a blind taste test.

So what the hell do you think is going to happen when you reduce the calories in one of these watered down beers? It's going to be more watered down. What are you left with? Bud Select. 55 calories. Wow. Great. So I'm not buzzed, the drink tastes lousy and I still consumed 55 calories. Why don't I drink something with a few more calories and enjoy myself. Or I could just not drink at all and not consume ANY calories.

Are you watching your weight? Then go exercise, you lazy bastard. You aren't going to get skinny drinking beer. So if you're going to drink, drink GOOD beer. Tasty beer. Alcoholic beer. But dear lord, please don't drink Bud Select. That is unless Bud Select decides to sponsor my blog, in which case you should drink a lot of it. But until that day, don't drink any Bud Select. Got it? Good!

8 comments:

Jessica said...

I've heard in some countries Bud isn't even allowed to be called beer. Pretty sure this wouldn't either.

Flower said...

Kind of like sugar free ice cream. . . what's the point?

Rachel Hoyt said...

LOL. I couldn't agree more. If you want low calorie, I say drink straight whiskey (or stick to water). If you want beer, buy a BEER... not water with a splash of piss.

Ankita (Gg) said...

I'm sure it has medicinal properties. Cuz urine has medicinal properties, y'know.

Leslie Moon said...

I have never found a beer that I thought tasted good. I think it all resembles urine; however, my husband is a Blue Moon or Boulevard man.

Star said...

LOVE this post! (LOVE red beer-- well, at least that's what they call it in Italy--very full flavored, without packing the whallop of a Guinness.)

tic tac said...

This Scott loves beer.Bud select not for me.And Jockey brand tighty whitees suck also.

The Nerd said...

Most variations of Bud taste like horse urine. The one exception was when I was in England and the only American beer I could order was regular Bud. It was actually good, I was quite shocked. I thought maybe it was because my taste buds were a little homesick. So I tried Bud again in England and back home. To my surprise, it's different. Perhaps the water or something makes it actually tolerable across the Pond.