Monday, August 3, 2009
Scott's Tip Of The Day: This past weekend I rode the L train to my girlfriend's apartment in Brooklyn. As I am now desensitized to the regular swam of hipsters, it was a relatively uneventful ride...that is until I saw this poster (see above). At first I thought this chick was flashing me a gang sign. Then I realized she lost her fingers.... from smoking. I imagine she was smoking cigarettes. Maybe crack? They really should have specified on the poster. What am I not supposed to smoke? Everything? But you know what my biggest problem with this poster is? No, it's not that it's slightly out of focus. It's that I don't know this chick. How do I know she lost her fingers from smoking? Maybe she had a horrible bread cutting machine accident in the deli? Was she too impatient for the dude behind the counter to cut her marble rye? Maybe she was riding in the car and stuck her hands out the window. My Dad always told me not to do that! Why should I trust you NYC? How do I know this isn't a cheap propoganda campaign?
Why do I have to look at this poster, NYC? Why would you do that to me? Isn't it bad enough I have to look at vagrants, hipsters, fifi dogs dressed in designer sweaters, crying babies, crying elderly people, tourists and ladies with fake fingernails longer than an unrolled pack of Bubble Tape? You have a budget crisis, NY? Stop with the lecturing! Stop taking pictures of fat ladies missing fingers. Put that money into the Police Department instead. Maybe you can buy the police some new batons...that they can use to beat hipsters.