Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Donating Blood



Scott's Tip Of The Day: According to the Red Cross, every 2 seconds someone needs a blood transfusion. Who is this "someone?" Isn't it strange the Red Cross is dedicating the majority of its resources to one anonymous person who needs 30 blood transfusions a minute? Isn't this a waste of resources? How is this person going through his blood so quickly?

I think if I'm giving the blood I should call the shots. It should be up to me where my blood goes. (No vampires please.) I want to see a profile and picture (no uglies) of everyone who needs my blood. I'll decide who it goes to. It's MY blood. No convicted felons, anti-Semites, Scientologists, goths, fans of Desperate Housewives, socialists, members of the Michigan Militia, Somalian pirates, the entire Arquette family (except Patricia, she's ok....I guess), Bob Jones University students, or people who weigh over 400 pounds.

If you fit this criteria and you have A+ blood, hit me up at scottstipoftheday@blogspot.com. I'll send you a ziplock bag full of my blood in return for gold, silver or other precious metals. If you're lucky I will some include bonus alcohol, already in the blood (assembly not required). Aren't I a good guy?

14 comments:

Casey said...

I totally have A+ blood, am easy on the eyes, and weigh less than 400 lbs. I am a criminal however, if it's a crime to be amazingly awesome. :P

And I actually needed blood a year ago - thanks for the offer. Not. Too little too late!

becca said...

i wish i could give blood again but they no longer allow me to

Scott said...

Becca,

Why not?

Bouncin' Barb said...

Bruce and I donate blood when we feel like it. Usually a few times a year. We gave when the earthquake hit Haiti because we felt like we did something. I have the O- blood which is worth it's weight in gold according to Red Cross. However, do not give the Red Cross your phone #. They will haunt you, annoy you, call you on weekends, nights, and when I've asked to be removed from their list it is never done. I hate that! They are the vampires!!

Kev D. said...

I would give my blood to an ACTUAL vampire, however i would NOT give it to anyone that PLAYS a vampire on TV or in a movie.

Belle said...

I don't want a right-wing nutjob to have my blood. It might turn them into a Democrat; I wouldn't want to do that to them.

Kelly said...

Oh hell, I'm O+. I don't think I could use it. But hey, I'm diabetic. Can anybody out there use my diabetic blood? Come on! Put some of my diseased blood into your body! It'll be swell.

Star said...

There is a sculpture dedicated to blood donors in Milan, Italy. Here's a recent snippet about it on my blog: http://mymilanitaly.blogspot.com/2011/01/so-its-new-year.html

Thanks for your posts; they always brighten my day!

Bushman said...

Those damn McVeighs give us a bad name here in Michigan. In case you didn't know it the whole damn state owns guns but we are not all militia. Just don't mess with us. I give twice a year at work and one time I gave blood and then got drunk. NOT a good idea. It's fun for awhile but the hangover will almost kill you. If it doesn't then call the militia.

Nina "Ninfamous" said...

Whoo! I found you again. Months ago I stumbled upon your blog about the Discover card, laughed my head off about the "undiscovered" part, and forgot to follow you. TG for Google's "blogs" search engine. Loved this blog post. I for one, think mass donating blood banks are gross, for you never know the source, and you may well be better off without it in your system.
Anywhoos, please keep it coming, you're one of the few bloggers that makes me laugh and writes with wit and humour ;)

prachieee said...

i wonder how this system will work for you scott.. i mean the patient's on da hospital bed... needs bottles of A+ blood but wait.. oh! he has to audition for your blood??!!!!!! VAIN....

Ankita (Gg) said...

I'm A+, not ugly, and less than 400 pounds. But I don't want your blood. If I ever need it, let me inform you in advance that I'd prefer the alcohol-free version, please.

Yeah. Sure. You're a great guy. ~headbang~

Jessica said...

I'm O+, but am no longer allowed to donate (due to accumulated time lived outside of the US). Really wish the Red Cross would revise their eligibility protocols; they're missing out on some good blood from myself, friends and family!

KABO said...

No uglies, haha! Loved this post! Cracked me up! Good points though, if I didn't have a bleeding disorder and could donate I'd probably wonder about where my blood was going as well!