Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Breast Feeding In Public
Scott's Tip Of The Day: According to a recent article in the Washington Post, "Dozens of breast-feeding women plan to descend on the Hirshhorn Museum on Saturday for a 'nurse-in' to highlight their federally protected right to nourish their babies in public."
Hey ladies. No one wants to see you breastfeed your kids in public. You've got it rough. I get that. You've been sitting at home watching your housekeeper change diapers. Exhausting. You've spent all day complaining about how the expensive gym membership is even though you never go. Watching all of that daytime TV is grueling too. Lets not forget how you are calling your husband every ten minutes because you are bored out of your mind. BTW, you should probably cut down on that, you're going to get him fired.)
So, yeah. It's hard. You (barely) take care of your child and you don't have as much time to sit around the country club and flirt with fitness instructors and pool boys. You feel lonely and you need attention. So you think it's a good idea to go to a museum and breast feed your kid with 190 other militant feminists. That's a great solution. You're going to be really popular after that. Do you think your baby is going to be proud of you when he grows up and finds out you did this? Do you think your husband is going to have any incentive to stop sleeping with his executive assistant when he hears how nuts you've gone? No! So calm down. Your hormones are driving you crazy. Get out the Ben & Jerry's. Put your fat pants on. Have a seat on the couch. Plug your VCR in, go find your Beaches VHS, watch some Bette Midler and have a good cry. But don't breast feed in public. You're just embarrassing yourself.