Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Breast Feeding In Public



Scott's Tip Of The Day: According to a recent article in the Washington Post, "Dozens of breast-feeding women plan to descend on the Hirshhorn Museum on Saturday for a 'nurse-in' to highlight their federally protected right to nourish their babies in public."

Hey ladies. No one wants to see you breastfeed your kids in public. You've got it rough. I get that. You've been sitting at home watching your housekeeper change diapers. Exhausting. You've spent all day complaining about how the expensive gym membership is even though you never go. Watching all of that daytime TV is grueling too. Lets not forget how you are calling your husband every ten minutes because you are bored out of your mind. BTW, you should probably cut down on that, you're going to get him fired.)

So, yeah. It's hard. You (barely) take care of your child and you don't have as much time to sit around the country club and flirt with fitness instructors and pool boys. You feel lonely and you need attention. So you think it's a good idea to go to a museum and breast feed your kid with 190 other militant feminists. That's a great solution. You're going to be really popular after that. Do you think your baby is going to be proud of you when he grows up and finds out you did this? Do you think your husband is going to have any incentive to stop sleeping with his executive assistant when he hears how nuts you've gone? No! So calm down. Your hormones are driving you crazy. Get out the Ben & Jerry's. Put your fat pants on. Have a seat on the couch. Plug your VCR in, go find your Beaches VHS, watch some Bette Midler and have a good cry. But don't breast feed in public. You're just embarrassing yourself.

8 comments:

Krissy said...

Scott, are we PMSing today? That was a bit harsh, but I agree! I really have no desire to see that, whether I would have had the choice to do it myself or not.. had I had any kids.

talkativetaurus.com

The Restaurant Manager said...

Tell us how you really feel!

Candice said...

I have two kids, and I did NOT breastfeed them in public. Why would I want to? Good grief, people! Sit in the car and cover yourself up. Privacy is a good thing, last time I checked.

Bouncin' Barb said...

29 years ago I was a breastfeeding mom and if I went anywhere with my baby, I would go to the car and breastfeed if need be. Of course now I've turned into the Grandma who drove a tractor trailor topless but we won't tell my son that now will we? hahaha

Krissy said...

Barb, but you didn't put your bouncing self on the internet with him attached! :)

TalkativeTaurus.com

wheatgerm said...

why are they going to the country club. those types rarely breastfeed they use formula

Martha said...

LOVE IT! I hate it when I see that. Get that baby on the bottle, then its ok to see your baby eating!

Bere said...

I was a very active breasfeeding mom and I remember sitting anywhere and breastfeeding, covered, but not hidden. Why are Americans so uptight about it? Everybody enjoys watching a drunk girl flashig a crowd at a football game or Bourbon Street. Nobody tells her to stop it. They actually encourage that lewd behavior. But everybody gets a stick up there when a woman sits at a park bench to feed their child. I've never seen a woman flash anybody while feeding a child btw. Get over it