Thursday, February 10, 2011

Human V2.0



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Do you ever wish you had eyes in the back of your head? How about a camera? An NYU professor installed a camera in the back of his head for a "performance project." It was causing too much pain though and had to be removed. You can read about it here.

I guess merely wearing a camera backwards on top of his head wouldn't have accomplished the same objective (which was to presumably look like a freak). This professor HAD to surgically implant a foreign electronic object in the back of his head, in the name of art. 99% of the world doesn't buy your justification, Professor. You can't just do whatever you want and claim it's art. I learned this the hard way. I pooped on my desk at work and attempted to justify it by saying 1)it was an art installation and 2)I did it during my lunch break so I didn't waste company time. Although I'm still convinced my colleagues admired my work, I was reprimanded. I've been going to intense therapy three times a week ever since.

The worst part of all this is these college students are paying over $40,000 a year for the privilege of studying at NYU. They take four or five classes a semester and one of them is this class. If they carry five classes a semester and this class is only a semester long, that's $40,000 divided by 2, then divided by 5. That equals $4,000. $4,000 to learn from a man who thinks installing a camera in his head is a good idea. A homeless man could teach you more constructive things for a lot less money. Things like panhandling, graceful ways to die in abandoned warehouse fires, pickpocketing and where to find really good cardboard boxes to sleep on.

So if you're feeling bored, forget about installing unnecessary electronic equipment in your body. Get homeless lessons from a hobo instead.

6 comments:

Kev D. said...

"So if you want to join me for a while, just grab your hat, come travel light, that's hobo style."

Ok, so the show was about a dog. But if it wasn't, it would have been the greatest show ever.

Kara Hoag said...

Even though it is painful, I keep my camera installed to curb the feeling that people are making fun of me behind my back.

visions unto myself

Bouncin' Barb said...

So no more "head shots"?

Shannon said...

Actually, pooping on your desk could've been constituted as art if you had only pooped on a canvas instead...

http://www.culturekiosque.com/art/news/rheturn.htm

Nina "Ninfamous" said...

This post had me literally LOLing ;) keep it coming scott :)

wheatgerm said...

Cardboard box to sleep is more constructive