Friday, October 9, 2009
Top 10 Hollywood Stars That Have Faded Into Oblivian
Scott's Tip Of The Day: Stay relevant. Don't fall into obscurity. When Mike Tyson was asked what he would do when he retired from boxing he replied "I guess I'll just fade into Bolivian." Don't fade into Bolivian. Don't fade into oblivion either. Hey, it could happen. What do I mean? Well take a look at these 10 stars. All had promising futures in entertainment and then fell off the map.
SCOTT'S TOP 10 HOLLYWOOD STARS THAT FADED INTO OBLIVIAN (or Bolivian)
10. Paul Hogan
Yes, Paul. I call that a knife. What else do you have to say for yourself? What? It's hard to understand what you're saying with that accent and all the Vegemite you're eating. Don't talk with food in your mouth! Anyway, are you surprised he fell off the map? He was a one trick pony. That being said, Crocodile Dundee was still an awesome movie and whenever I am flippin through the channels and I see that it's on, I always have to stop and watch it.
9. Ralph Macchio
You're nothing without Mr. Miyagi, Ralph. You couldn't even land a role as a stereotypical goomba in a Martin Scorsese movie... and you're the most Italian-American looking and sounding Motherf***er I have ever seen. What? What does an Italian-American sound like? Someone from New Jersey. You know I'm right.
8. Michael Winslow
You can rock an awesome Purple Haze, with nothing but a microphone. You can basically imitate any sound imaginable and even people unimpressed with your acting skills have to respect your talent. Why you couldn't make it out of the Police Academy series is beyond me.
7. Rick Moranis
On a serious note, I recently read that Moranis quit the film industry after his wife passed away from Cancer. He wanted to stay home and raise his children. In a world where it's become acceptable to jet set around the globe and leave your kid with a nanny 24-7, I have big respect for you for not takin' that approach, Rick.
6. Everyone From The Breakfast Club
Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Anthony Michael Hall, Molly Ringwald. What the hell happened to all of you? Although some of you were more talented than others, (IMHO, Anthony Michael Hall was the most talented of the lot), you all dropped off the grid. It's too bad. What do I have to look forward to now? Christmas? You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny." Alright? So go home and cry to your Daddy. Don't cry here, okay?
5. Sean Young
She's a man!!! At least she was in Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Sean Young is living proof that erratic alcohol fueled behavior will eventually lead to your demise in Hollywood. Unless your name is Nick Nolte. Or Gary Busey. Or any other Hollywood celebrity that isn't Sean Young.
4. Judge Reinhold
As a kid, his name always confused me. Judge? Isn't that a profession? Nonetheless, you think his performances in Beverly Hills Cop and Fast Times at Ridgemont High would have kept people clamoring for more Judge. I guess not.
3. Charles Grodin
Charles. Chuck. Chaz. Where did you go, my man? If you're under 20-years-old, you probably never even heard of this guy. Before The Heartbreak Kid was a Ben Stiller movie, it was a Charles Grodin movie. And it was funny. And the humor wasn't wearing thin (hint, hint, Ben Stiller). I can't say I agree with your decision to act in the movie, Beethoven, but I guess you could rationalize that by saying "it's for the kids." Then again, a pedophile could probably rationalize his behavior with the same explanation.
2. Paul Reubens
Speaking of sexually deviant behavior....number two is Paul Reubens! Who would have guessed masturbating in a movie theater would have irreparably harmed his career? Not Paul, apparently.
1. O.J. Simpson
He was in the Towering Inferno. The Naked Gun. He was a great football player and not a bad actor. So why isn't he in movies anymore? Oh yeah, he "allegedly" murdered his wife and her boyfriend.