Friday, October 9, 2009

Top 10 Hollywood Stars That Have Faded Into Oblivian

Scott's Tip Of The Day: Stay relevant. Don't fall into obscurity. When Mike Tyson was asked what he would do when he retired from boxing he replied "I guess I'll just fade into Bolivian." Don't fade into Bolivian. Don't fade into oblivion either. Hey, it could happen. What do I mean? Well take a look at these 10 stars. All had promising futures in entertainment and then fell off the map.


10. Paul Hogan

Yes, Paul. I call that a knife. What else do you have to say for yourself? What? It's hard to understand what you're saying with that accent and all the Vegemite you're eating. Don't talk with food in your mouth! Anyway, are you surprised he fell off the map? He was a one trick pony. That being said, Crocodile Dundee was still an awesome movie and whenever I am flippin through the channels and I see that it's on, I always have to stop and watch it.

9. Ralph Macchio

You're nothing without Mr. Miyagi, Ralph. You couldn't even land a role as a stereotypical goomba in a Martin Scorsese movie... and you're the most Italian-American looking and sounding Motherf***er I have ever seen. What? What does an Italian-American sound like? Someone from New Jersey. You know I'm right.

8. Michael Winslow

You can rock an awesome Purple Haze, with nothing but a microphone. You can basically imitate any sound imaginable and even people unimpressed with your acting skills have to respect your talent. Why you couldn't make it out of the Police Academy series is beyond me.

7. Rick Moranis

On a serious note, I recently read that Moranis quit the film industry after his wife passed away from Cancer. He wanted to stay home and raise his children. In a world where it's become acceptable to jet set around the globe and leave your kid with a nanny 24-7, I have big respect for you for not takin' that approach, Rick.

6. Everyone From The Breakfast Club

Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Anthony Michael Hall, Molly Ringwald. What the hell happened to all of you? Although some of you were more talented than others, (IMHO, Anthony Michael Hall was the most talented of the lot), you all dropped off the grid. It's too bad. What do I have to look forward to now? Christmas? You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny." Alright? So go home and cry to your Daddy. Don't cry here, okay?

5. Sean Young

She's a man!!! At least she was in Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Sean Young is living proof that erratic alcohol fueled behavior will eventually lead to your demise in Hollywood. Unless your name is Nick Nolte. Or Gary Busey. Or any other Hollywood celebrity that isn't Sean Young.

4. Judge Reinhold

As a kid, his name always confused me. Judge? Isn't that a profession? Nonetheless, you think his performances in Beverly Hills Cop and Fast Times at Ridgemont High would have kept people clamoring for more Judge. I guess not.

3. Charles Grodin

Charles. Chuck. Chaz. Where did you go, my man? If you're under 20-years-old, you probably never even heard of this guy. Before The Heartbreak Kid was a Ben Stiller movie, it was a Charles Grodin movie. And it was funny. And the humor wasn't wearing thin (hint, hint, Ben Stiller). I can't say I agree with your decision to act in the movie, Beethoven, but I guess you could rationalize that by saying "it's for the kids." Then again, a pedophile could probably rationalize his behavior with the same explanation.

2. Paul Reubens

Speaking of sexually deviant behavior....number two is Paul Reubens! Who would have guessed masturbating in a movie theater would have irreparably harmed his career? Not Paul, apparently.

1. O.J. Simpson

He was in the Towering Inferno. The Naked Gun. He was a great football player and not a bad actor. So why isn't he in movies anymore? Oh yeah, he "allegedly" murdered his wife and her boyfriend.


Anonymous said...

Rubens was on leno the other day, apparently he's trying to bring peewee back

Snooty Primadona said...

Wow, you did nail them. Although, I NEVER thought OJ could act. If he ever could at some point, it was purely by accident or perhaps good direction.

If PeeWee were to ever come back I might be forced to hurt someone. Eeeeeewwwwww!

I've often wondered about Rick Moranis & respect him for taking the path he did. Thanks for the update.

I just spent a while cruising (stalking or whatever) your blog & I adore your sense of humor, so I hope you don't mind if an old lady married 33 years with two grown kids, occasionally stalks you...


Anonymous said...

What ever happened to Phoebe Cates? She's the girl behind Judge Reinhold. Man I had a crush on her...

Anonymous said...

Paul hogan is 70 years old and is Australian. Do you think this might have some bearing on why you haven't seen him recently?

Anonymous said...

Re: The Breakfast Club gang: Emilio Estevez has been writing, producing, and directing for decades, in addition to the odd acting role. Molly Ringwald is a main character on a popular TV show called "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." You also might have caught her in the critically-acclaimed movie "Sling Blade." There were also a few years when she was doing French films, because she's fluent and was living in France with her then-husband. Anthony Michael Hall was recently featured in "The Dark Knight," the most successful Batman movie ever. He also did five years of "Stephen King's Dead Zone" on television. Ally Sheedy received some of the highest praise of her career more than a decade after Breakfast Club, in the indie movie "High Art." Judd Nelson has five movies coming out in 2010.

And Paul Reubens? "Pee-Wee's Playhouse: the Movie" is slated for release next year.

Also, you might want to use your spell-check.