Scott's Tip Of The Day: So you are out of a job. How can you make some extra money? Well first you have to ask yourself what you are good at. Watching TV? Well why don't you write a sitcom. You don't know anything about writing television shows? That's ok. The most important part of a sitcom is the wacky neighbor. A sitcom aint a sitcom if there is no wacky neighbor. Let me show you what I mean:
TOP 10 TELEVISION WACKY NEIGHBORS
10. Quagmire from Family Guy
Quagmire will stick his penis into anything. And he is a cartoon! What could be wackier than that?
9. Mr. Furley from Three's Company
Erratic body movements, ridiculous faces.... Doesn't Don Knotts look like he could have a full-out stoke at any minute?
8. Kimmy Gibler from Full House
If Kimmy Gibler fell drowned in a kiddy pool no one would miss her. Nonetheless you can't say she's not wacky.
7. Urkel from Family Matters
He likes cheese. He's a clutz. You kind of want to stab him. Yeah...he's wacky.
6. Ned Flanders from The Simpsons
The church loving, english garbling neighbor of the Simpsons. He's kind of demented in a less obvious way. I felt bad for not including him in my top 10 best mustaches so I figured I would make up for it by throwing him on this list.
5. Marcy from Married With Children
The sole woman to make this list (Sorry Kimmy Gibler, I am calling your sexuality into question). Marcy always seems to have PMS. She has a bizarre sex life, and she voluntarily hangs out with Peg Bundy. What's wrong with her?
4. Vinny from Doogie Howser M.D.
Vinny, you stereotypical Italian bastard, why don't you learn to use the front door instead of climbing into Doogie's window all the time?
3. Cockroach from The Cosby Show
More of a friend than a neighbor. He goes by the name Cockroach though. That's amusing enough. I wanted to use Rudy's chubby white friend who lives next door but I couldn't find any pictures of him on the internet. I am surprised nobody started a fan club for that kid. I wonder where he is now....
2. Boner from Growing Pains
His name is Boner! Need I say more?
1. Kramer from Seinfeld
He's like every wacky neighbor rolled into one. He has so many idiosyncrasies I don't know where to begin. He's pretty entertaining though.
Anyway, if you follow one of these wacky neighbor models your show is bound to be a success. Just don't forget old Scott over here when you get your royalty checks from the network.