Wednesday, September 2, 2009

1-877-Kars-4-Kids



Scott's Tip Of The Day: I've had it. Everyday on the way to work I listen to the radio. It doesn't matter if I am listening to 660AM, 1050AM, 1010AM, I always hear the same commercial. The most annoying commercial ever! Its a bunch of kids singing "1-877-Kars-4-Kids." Not only is the commercial extremely irritating, but it makes no sense.

First, there are too many numbers to dial. Kars-4-Kids? A typical number has a 3 digit area code and 7 numbers after. (XXX)-XXX-XXXX. I guess Kars-4-Kids worked out a special deal where they can just add as many digits as they want. "Why make donors dial the minimum number of requisite digits when we can force them to dial more? MWAHAHAHAHA."

Second, if i didn't look up "Cars For Kids" on Google, I never would have realized "Cars" is spelled "Kars" and there is a "4" in there instead of a "for." What brilliant marketing genius came up with that? Awww, they spelled "Cars" wrong. How cute!!! No! How confusing! Why don't you throw a backwards R in there too? How about a ampersand too?

Third, Why do kids need cars? Isn't the minimum driving age like 16 or 17? Does a seven-year-old really need a 1987 Honda Accord? Would you feel comfortable with your seven-year-old driving a 1987 Honda Accord? How reliable could that car be? Did you make sure the breaks work OK? Do you really trust your kid to go run errands and not spend all the grocery money gettin' hopped up on Jolt Cola at Chuck-E-Cheeses?

Out of principle I will never donate to Kars-4-Kids because the commercial is so f**king annoying. Kids singing out of tune, (when you can't even see their booger covered faces), is not cute. In the advertising world, typically, if you familiarize people with your product, you have done a great job. Unfortunately, Kars-4-Kids revolts people. When I'm driving and this commercial comes on, I consider driving my car into the median divider or pulling over and committing ritual seppuku. That is why I urge you to donate to some of my favorite charities instead.

Guns For Kids in Africa
There is a lot of unrest in Africa. Wars, genocide and whatnot. And a lot of kids don't have guns. What's a gunless kid going to do when people show up to his house with guns? Nothing. He'll be helpless. That's why you need to donate and get these kids some guns to defend themself. "Screw you army man! Rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat!"

Money For Scott
See that "Donate to Scott" box on the upper right hand corner of this blog? Scott provides you with countless wisdom. He's always there for you. You can always email him at SCOTTSTIPOFTHEDAY@GMAIL.COM and say hi, or ask him a question. He is like your drunk uncle, who never beats you, but always seems to forget your birthday. What better way to show your appreciation then to send some $$$ his way?

Clown Subsidies
A lot of you hate clowns. I don't particularly like them. They're supposed to be funny, but they're creepy and sad. What better way to get them out of the public eye than to pay them not to work? I don't want to see you clown! So I am gonna pay you your salary to sit on the couch and not go out in public! Brilliant!

13 comments:

Jenni said...

I make it a point to not donate anything or purchase anything from anyone or anywhere that uses poor grammar, be it on purpose or not.

Good rule to live by, I think.

And I've heard that commercial many times, and it is annoying as hell.

Anonymous said...

Don't like our jingle? Write and record your own!

http://www.kars4kids.org/contest/index.html

Jenni said...

*awkward silence*

Anonymous said...

Now you gotta do it man! Write up a 10 - 15 second jingle and post it here.

Anonymous said...

Scott,you hit the nail on the head. This commercial assumes we all know what the charity is about. I thought it was a place where you bought cars for your teen drivers. I later found out that they sell the donated cars, and use the proceeds for underprivileged kids. Well, say so! Don't sing to me, and assume I know what you're talking about.

Chris said...

I found your post while searching for others who hate those commercials, and I have to say your interpretation is the only one so far that's made me laugh out loud.

Anonymous said...

You misunderstand. It's Kars4Kids as in Kash4Klunkers. If you have too many kids, you can trade a few of them in for a car. At least that's what I tell mine when they're not behaving.

Electro Fox said...

Hell Yes! The last poster was correct! I only received a '71 Dodge Dart for my little Justin. But then again, #1: I LOVE Dodge Darts! #2: We did have him kinda late (Think souvenir from Disneyland)... Seriously though, that is the singlemost annoying commercial on the air. Ever. Each time it comes on I bolt torwards the radio/remote! They should really make a heartfelt **verbal** plea for assistance, I'm sure they would get more assistance. But the constant and unmerciless audio assault is horseshit! I even have an alternate set of 'dirty' lyrics for it, as I do for every Christmas song ever written. You can sub all kinds of fun stuff. 1-877-BONGS-4-KIDS for instance. And not to be trumped knowing that we can now use ANY amount of #'s and letters; 1-877-XYLOPHONES-4-KIDS... F the writer, F the producer, F the audio engineer, F the damn machine that recorded it, and especially, a REALLY big F goes out to the F'in F'ers who sang on that spot! Get a F'in LARYNX!!! REALLY!!! Give your old cars to your kids, friends, and neighbors... And give your old motorhomes and chainsaws to me...

Anonymous said...

Since most of you are stupid retards, I will just tell you that if you donate your car to kars 4 kids, you are donating your car to orthodox jewish kids summer camps. Not starving, freezing, homeless, sick children of all races and creeds. These folks use the proceeds to buy land, build day camps, and pay for the clergy and mexicans who work at these camps. That said, I could not stand for ANY child to be distressed or at-risk, but these people are using these alarming terms in a misleading manner.

Anonymous said...

I want to blow my brains out every single f-ing time I hear this most irritating jingle known to mankind. Can someone make it stop...PLEASE!

Anonymous said...

Funny post. I just heard this commercial for the first time and immediately did a Google search for 'annoying commercials, Kars for Kids'. I wasn't even actively listening to the radio. Just have it on low as background noise, but fuck, that commercial jumped out at me. I think whoever made that should be dragged out into the street and shot.

Anonymous said...

I went to their live support e-mail feature with the following statements:



[Visitor] Too many numbers in your mis spelled nightmare of a commercial.......
[Visitor] 1(xxx) xxx-xxxx
[Visitor] 1(877) Kar-s4ki
[Visitor] How many cars do you usually give for each received kid?
[Visitor] Late model, american, what?
[Visitor] I like BMW's
[Visitor] But I like my kids more.
[Visitor] If I change my mind, call me at 1 (877) Hay-eye-changed my mind so-call me back (ext. 8675309.2378190K

David said...

How is it that this godamned commercial is still on the air? It's the single most irritating sound I've heard in my entire life, no hyperbole could match the annoyance level I feel each time it's on.