Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Scott's Tip Of The Day: There is nothing cuter than a baby. What could be better than having your own little bundle of joy? How about injecting yourself with absurd amounts of fertility drugs and having eight bundles of joy!??? In five minutes?? Not safe?? Who cares!!! Eight isn't enough? Well, what if you had six babies already!? That's fourteen babies!!! What a good idea!!!
Sending your child to college is expensive. A child born today is probably going to have to pay more than $200,000 for an education from a four-year accredited school. (A cheaper alternative is buying a PhD online for $500. Hey look at me, I have a diploma! Now you have to call me doctor!)
Quick! What's $200,000 multiplied times 14? Lets see here....ummm...carry the one......subtract the remainder.......it's 2.8 Million dollars! I hope you saved your pennies lady. Will you be able to remember all of your kids' names? How are you going to afford diapers? You're going to leech off the system? You live in California!! What system? There is no money left to give you! They already spent it on unsuccessfully prosecuting Michael Jackson and distributing drivers licenses to illegal immigrants.
What are you going to do about your broken vagina? Oh, it doesn't matter! Who needs that thing anyway? You have 14 babies! Who cares!? (I know she had a C-section but she already has six kids so it is safe to assume it is broken).
If you only take away one thing from this blog entry, please remember that one baby is not enough. Neither is two, four.....or ten. Any sensible person needs 14 babies. Go big or go home.