Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Babies


Scott's Tip Of The Day: There is nothing cuter than a baby. What could be better than having your own little bundle of joy? How about injecting yourself with absurd amounts of fertility drugs and having eight bundles of joy!??? In five minutes?? Not safe?? Who cares!!! Eight isn't enough? Well, what if you had six babies already!? That's fourteen babies!!! What a good idea!!!

Sending your child to college is expensive. A child born today is probably going to have to pay more than $200,000 for an education from a four-year accredited school. (A cheaper alternative is buying a PhD online for $500. Hey look at me, I have a diploma! Now you have to call me doctor!)

Quick! What's $200,000 multiplied times 14? Lets see here....ummm...carry the one......subtract the remainder.......it's 2.8 Million dollars! I hope you saved your pennies lady. Will you be able to remember all of your kids' names? How are you going to afford diapers? You're going to leech off the system? You live in California!! What system? There is no money left to give you! They already spent it on unsuccessfully prosecuting Michael Jackson and distributing drivers licenses to illegal immigrants.

What are you going to do about your broken vagina? Oh, it doesn't matter! Who needs that thing anyway? You have 14 babies! Who cares!? (I know she had a C-section but she already has six kids so it is safe to assume it is broken).

If you only take away one thing from this blog entry, please remember that one baby is not enough. Neither is two, four.....or ten. Any sensible person needs 14 babies. Go big or go home.

14 comments:

Debbie said...

I posted about this sad situation yesterday as well. Pitiful.

Fairy Mae said...

I too, know of some rather large families and I often wonder how far their kids' education will go. I wish them the best.

Ceci said...

Don't EVEN get me started on this one.

It's that whole "Vagina: It's not a clown car" thing

AND ... and... isn't it that she can't even afford them??? How was she allowed to get the fertility injection?? WHY would you do this? What quality of life would they have????

This... is why the boyo got snipped. No babies for us... We'll adopt if we want one as people like this have MORE than enough.

wolf said...

This lady is apparently addicted to the idea of having kids. I think that the doctor(s) who transplanted eight viable fetuses into the womb of an unmarried woman who already had six children should be sued for malpractice.

foutsc said...

Someone needs to inform Her Lordship Pelosi. This happens because the state takes care of everybody now.

BTW, I loved that Simpsons episode. Apu naively refers to the playpen as a baby prison. Classic!

JKP said...

Check me out: http://craigslistjoke.blogspot.com/

You rock Scott!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

And that single mother isn't getting all the goodies that she thought she would get either. What a shame.

The Bobo Files sent me. :)

big hair envy said...

Truth is stranger than fiction. What I want to know is....who's the baby(ies) daddy?

Scott said...

I am glad you are all enjoying my blog! I appreciate the support and will continue to deliver important tips to live by!

BJ Roan said...

After about 24 hours of 6 kids and 8 babies, the men in the white coats would be coming to take me away, uh huh!

Femin Susan said...

Hi...
This is very funny......... thanks for sharing.....
regards
keep writing!

jacqueline said...

No one ever thinks of what strange addiction (mental problems) people with kid after kid have. There is no way each child is getting a deserved amount of attention or their needs being met. Yikes I could go on and on about this subject!!
Scott I'd love to trade links with you--your link is on my page now :-)

Cher Erica said...

I plan on having a litter of children myself

D'Arcy said...

Growing up my best friend had 12 kids in her family. It was INSANE. Watching them grow up, only one of them went to a technical college and the rest are working for minimum wage or slightly more. I grew up in a much smaller family and went on to receive a BA and MA and know that my parents attention and help had a lot to do with this.