Wednesday, February 25, 2009
How To Become A Blogger, A Step By Step Guide
Scott's Tip Of The Day: Hey you! Yeah! You! Yes, I can see your fat ass sitting in front of the computer reading this. What are you eating? You look disgusting! Go out and get some exercise! No? Well, if you are going to sit at the computer all day you should at least be productive. And what better way to be productive than to blog? Yeah, I know. Blogging isn't that productive. But it's more productive than reading Wikipedia articles about Han Solo. "But Scott, how can I blog!?" Well, to blog you must become a blogger.... And how do you become a blogger?
HOW TO BECOME A BLOGGER, A STEP BY STEP GUIDE
STEP 1- All bloggers wear parachute pants and all bloggers know how to break dance. If you aren't willing to invest the time and money into becoming a world-class break dancer, then you might as well stop reading now. So Step 1- Buy parachute pants and become good at breakdancing.
STEP 2 - Look on the upper right hand corner of my blog. See that PAYPAL donate to Scott's Tip Of The Day button? Click it. Send me some money. If you want to become a blogger you have to pay protection... to me. Otherwise there is no telling what could happen to your blog. Maybe I won't visit it. Are you prepared for that? Can you withstand such emotional turmoil? I didn't think so. Donate!
STEP 3- Adopt a poor baby from Africa, Asia or South America. Before you can take care of something as dynamic as a blog, you should be at least able to take care of a malnourished child. Once you raise that child to be 10-years-old, you are almost there.
STEP 4- After Acquiring parachute pants, learning to break dance, donating money to me, adopting a baby and raising it to be a healthy and successful 10-year-old, you are ready to blog. Google blog. Find a site you like, set up an account and write some stuff down. It will probably be boring drivel, but you didn't expect to be as awesome as me, did you? Maybe you should have spent ten years learning to write instead of adopting and raising a slum child orphan? Anyway, after you are done writing, post your first blog entry. Congratulations. You are Now A Blogger!