Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Old People


Scott's Tip Of The Day: If you can't afford to put your elderly relative in a home (where they can receive full time attention and care), just drop them off at daycare for toddlers. Obviously a full-time home is a better option, since daycare really will only watch after your elderly relative during working hours, but it is better than nothing.

"But what they won't accept my elderly relative into daycare? Daycare is for little kids!"
Good question.

You actually don't have to worry about much. Your elderly relative probably already wears a diaper. They are probably shrinking too. People have been known to lose an inch or two when they get older. Elderly people tend to hunch a little, so this also makes them look smaller. Your elderly relative probably speaks a lot of gibberish, not unlike a 3-year-old. All you have to do is put some dye in the elderly relative's hair, give them a lunchbox, and dress them in t-shirts featuring Dora The Explorer, Bob The Builder or Spongebob Squarepants. They will fit right in.
Congratulations! You just saved thousands of dollars!

9 comments:

wolf said...

I hope my kids put me in a day care when I'm old enough to consistently wet myself. I'll be able to watch all the Spongebob I want to, and with any luck the daycare attendant will be a hottie.

Full of win.

Mia Watts said...

Loss of teeth could present a problem. Hopefully will not be found in watercolor cup. Otherwise, excellent idea. Will consider piercing dentures and gums together with gold hoops to avoid confusion when time comes.

Scott said...

Losing teeth does not pose a problem, kids lose baby teeth, it could easily be passed off as a baby tooth

JPT said...

I don't remember giving you permisssion to use that picture of me.
Must be the Alzheimers.

leelee said...

You're cookie puss aren't you....lol

I do a great Tom Carvel imitation!


lol

Debbie said...

I take it this lovely woman is earning a buck or two? Great tip.

Nicole "The Card Eagle" Bandes said...

Just make sure to send them with a change of clothes in case the diaper isn't sufficient!

Great blog, it's my first visit.

VE said...

That guy looks like he's picked up a lot of activities to keep him busy in retirement. Good for him!!

INTJ said...

Reminds me of benjamin button