Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Role Model


Scott's Tip Of The Day: Not just anyone can be a role model. It takes a special type of person. "Scott, how can I be a role model?" Good question.

First - Learn to swim freakishly fast.
Second - Exhibit your swimming on a world stage. Preferably the Olympics. Win some Gold Medals.
Third - Go to strip clubs. Touch women inappropriately. Play high stakes poker in Las Vegas with the best poker players in the world. Go to college parties. Obtain marijuana. Put marijuana in giant bong in full view of camera. Smoke marijuana.
Fourth - Apologize for getting caught....Scratch that....Apologize for smoking marijuana. Ask for forgiveness.


"Scott, I can't swim, are there any other ways to become a role model?"
Yes.

First - Get really good at professional basketball. Play for a long time. Be rude to kids who ask for your autograph at your games. Tell them you have agreements with certain companies and cannot sign cards that are not published by these companies.
Second - Periodically argue that you are not a role model and shouldn't be considered a role model, merely because you are a professional athlete.
Third - Retire from basketball. Become sports analyst. Contemplate running for political office at some point in the future.
Fourth - Incur massive gambling debts at casinos trying to recreate adrenaline rush you used to feel playing basketball.
Fifth - Drink enough alcohol to put your BAL over the legal limit. Drive recklessly fast in your car. Get pulled over by police. When approached by officer, explain that you were on your way to get oral sex from a woman who has previously given you the best oral sex of your life.

These are just a few ways to become a role model. There's more than one way to skin a cat. But, I think I gave you some good examples to work with. Good luck on your quest to become a role model!

13 comments:

Jan said...

That just seems like too much work. Can I just be a good mom, or is that all passe?

Scott said...

Well that all depends on your definition of "good"...

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Being a good role model in the UK for some people is to get wasted on cheap booze, fall asleep in the gutter with your legs akimbo, skirt hitched up showing your none to clean nickers. Role models eh? Where would we be without them?

beth said...

Being a role model is overrated and is hardly ever aked for. You just get to be one or not be one.

Pamplemousse said...

Scott,

Thanks for the good comment. Of course we can be linked internet friends.

I'm in the midst of family chaos which defies the written word at this time, but I will certainly post your blog on my blog.

Pamplemousse

Debbie said...

Love this! I did a little Michael blurb today too.

BJ Roan said...

Anyone who expects a celebrity to be a role model is expecting too much!

Link exchange? Sure.

VE said...

Role model? Sure...he could use the bong...but can he "roll"?

mantiz said...

well that explains why people call me a good role model.. oh well :(

Twenty Four At Heart said...

It's a sad, sad world we live in. My son swam his heart out all summer wanting to be like Phelps. The higher they fly, the harder they fall ......

Ron Centeno said...

As I keep saying, he's lucky he gets to keep all his endorsements. So many honest people are losing their jobs, meanwhile he breaks the rules and keeps all the dough.

nonamedufus said...

The Round Mound of Rebound one day, the Punk Drunk as a Skunk the next. His rep now much like his NBA earnings squandered in casinos: easy come, easy go. Sad.

big hair envy said...

Whatever. Phelps is still HAWT in a Speedo:) Heehee!

Excuse me. Was that shallow?