Friday, February 13, 2009
Scott's Tip Of The Day: This tip goes out to all of you high school kids. A lot of you are trying to decide what to be when you grow up. Should I join the army? Can I make a living as an artist? What kind of job can I get that's secure in this troubled economy? Well, these are all good questions. My advice to you is to become a weatherman.
REASONS TO BECOME A WEATHERMAN
-Recession, Depression..... it doesn't matter, the news is still going to be on TV. Where there is broadcast news, there is a weatherman
-You get to call yourself a meteorologist. It sounds cooler than weatherman and makes good conversation when you are scamming ladies at the bars and clubs.
-You can consistently perform poorly at your job and not be fired. In fact, it's expected. Who actually expects it to snow 12 inches when the weatherman says it will? "Today is going to be partly cloudy with a chance of showers." What? Partly cloudy? What does that mean? Maybe there will be some clouds? There are going to be some clouds in some areas? The clouds will be there but they won't be too big? A chance of rain? What does that mean? Maybe it will rain? Why can't you just tell me if it is going to rain or not? "The temperature is going to be 20 degrees but with the windchill it is going to feel like 10." Ok, great. What the hell do I care what the actual temperature is if I can't feel the actual temperature. You're overcomplicating my life, man. Basically they're just saying "Look dude, I have no f**king idea what's going on, Broseph. Maybe some stuff will fall out of the sky? Who knows? I've been wrong before. Maybe you should bring an umbrella and a jacket?" Why wouldn't you want a job where you can get away with this?
-You get to be on TV.
-If you are bald, you will have to buy a wig or hair piece. The good news is since you need it for work, you can probably write it off as a tax deduction.
Become a weatherman. Sure, you might have to work in Lincoln, Nebraska, but at least you'll be working.