Monday, April 20, 2009

Baby Names


Scott's Tip Of The Day: No longer is it cool to name your kid something simple like 'John' or 'Scott'. Your child could be ostracized at school for rocking suck an antiquated name. "So what should I name my kid, Scott? " I am glad you asked.

SCOTT'S GUIDE TO NAMING YOUR BABY

STEP 1- Take a simple name you like. We will use 'Scott' for the purposes of this example.

STEP 2- Spell the simple name wrong. Scott now becomes Skaht.

STEP 3- Add extra letters and/or punctuation to the name. Skaht now becomes Ja'Skaht.

STEP 4-Are you really happy with your name? Can you do anything else to make it unique? I am going to change Ja'Skaht to Ja'$kat. Lets put a dollar sign in there and get rid of that silent H. That silent H is a bit much don't you think? Letters in a name you don't pronounce? That's so unnecessary (unlike punctuation, extra letters and misspellings)

STEP 5- Congratulations! You have a new baby name! Walk out to the stoop and scream the news to all of the neighborhood people.

5 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Over here in Jockland most of the children seem to be called 'shutup' or 'stopit', with the occasional 'amgonnakillyouyoulittlebastard'.

J. said...

So Scott, or should I say, Ja'Skaht, does it make a difference in terms of naming whether you envision your child playing football versus basketball or, say, lacrosse?

Plus, more tips on what not to name your baby.

Illuminati said...

My wife and unborn son Da'Lourde thank you

Lord Andrew of Goulding said...

And I thought Oprah & Denzel were weird names.

Jenni said...

"Da'lourde." lawl. Better than "Inspektor Pilot"

I thought only black people and celebs were allowed to name their babies such absurd names? =p