Monday, April 13, 2009

Barbie Doll Tragedy

Scott's Tip Of The Day: When buying a Barbie Doll, be sure to understand what you buy. I purchased a seemingly normal Barbie Doll as a gift, only to find out this particular Barbie had no nipples or vuh-jay-jay. You would think they would have labeled this Barbie "Muslim Extremist Mutilation Barbie," right? Or at the very least included a burqa or a severed infidel's head. Incidentally, Ken seems to have had quite an accident as well. What happened to his weiner?!!! Look how big his smile is! How could you be smiling at a time like this, Ken?! Your weiner is missing! I double checked the box to see if it fell off, but alas, Ken's weiner was nowhere to be found. Anyway, some sick f**k at Matel is chopping off Barbie's nips, ruining her vuh-jay-jay and slicing off Ken's weiner. I suggest you buy your kid (or yourself, if you are a creepo) a transformer instead.


Anonymous said...


agloriousstew said...

also, her midriff seems to be in the midst of some sort of black-hole vortex deal. it appears to literally contain negative space or be in the 4th dimension. this is going to give kids the false illusion that certain parts of their bodies can time travel through worm holes, while others remain here on earth, which is certainly going to mess with these kids' body images and self-esteem when they realize that their OWN midriff is always in the same space-time continuum as the rest of their torso.