Monday, April 27, 2009

Scrabble Advice -Scott's Second Letter


GOOD ADVICE ON THE USAGE OF CUNT IN SCRABBLE PLAY, BUT DO YOU THINK CHLAMYDIA IS ACCEPTABLE ON THE FIRST DATE…..AND HOW MANY POINTS WOULD I GET WITH A DOUBLE WORD SCORE?

James


James,

It is good to hear from you. I bet you are glad to see I removed your company name and phone number from your email. That could have been a mess. Would your company continue to employ you if they knew your proclivity for playing dirty words in Scrabble matches? Yeah, you are right, it is probably small time compared to all of the money you have been embezzling.

Before we go any further I would also like to thank you for writing to me using all capital letters. I get easily confused by punctuation, lowercase letters and numbers, so I am glad you broke things down for me.

As for your concerns....

I am unable to tell you how many points you would score playing the word "chlamydia. " There is a very good chance one of the letters in chlamydia would fall on a double or triple letter score in addition to the double word score. Since I don't know where you intend to play this word on the board, it would be difficult if not impossible to advise you on the scoring potential of this word. Additionally, chlamydia is a nine letter word and you only have seven letters at a time in Scrabble. What letters are already on the board?

James. J-dawg. The J-ster. Lets be serious for a moment. You have never played Scrabble before. Ten dollars says you had to use spell check to correct your spelling of chlamydia. Awww. I'm sorry! What? Stop crying! You're a grown man, James! Awww dont blow your nose on your sleeve. James. James??? Are you finished? Good. Look.... you probably shouldn't be taking a girl out to play Scrabble on your first date anyway. I know I suggested it in a previous posting, but there are a lot of other things you can do to impress her. Take your lady friend to the back room in an adult bookstore and show her what the hole in the wall is used for. Take her to Newark, New Jersey and show her how to murder a man and get away with it. What? You live close to Detroit? Yeah. Detroit will work too. Huh? Yeah, hotwiring a car is pretty cool too. You probably want to take her out to dinner afterwards. What? No! Not Mcdonalds! Somewhere classy. Like Wendy's.

Anyway, here is the bottom line: Worry less about scoring in Scrabble and more about scoring on your date and you will be just fine.

I hope I answered your question, James. Feel free to write back. If anyone else has any questions for me, the all knowing Scott, I can be reached at ScottsTipOfTheDay@gmail.com. Please include your first name and location in your email. I would love to hear from you.
Until the next time...

No comments: