Friday, June 19, 2009
Scott's Tip Of The Day: You know what's scary? STALKERS! I wish I had some music on here so I could sufficiently dramatize what I'm saying. STALKERS DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN. I guess that will have to do. Anyway where was I? What was I talking about? What happened to my coffee? Where's my coffee? I guess I drank my coffee. Nevermind people I found my coffee. I am a bit distracted today. Where was I? Oh yeah....
STALKERS DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN. Everyone's got one! OK, maybe not everyone. David Letterman had one. Conan O'Brein had one. And I've got a few too. Important people have them. I guess you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Sucks to be you, dude! What? Who are some of the people that have stalked me? Well, this guy for one.
Yeah, it's the kid from Step By Step! He was in Beethoven too! He's a huge nerd and he's killin my buzz. Wastin my flava' when all I'm tryin' to do is hold it down for the people. I have other stalkers too. People from my past (you know who you are). People from the future. My great grandchildren have travelled back in time to question me why I squandered their inheritance on slap bracelets and pogs. Why? Because they are AWESOME, hellooo!????
Anyway, I am digressing again. It's hard not to digress when someone brings up that nerdy kid from Step By Step, isn't it? I mean, I bet you haven't thought about him in a few years. I bet you are mad I brought him up, because all you want to do is punch him in the face for being such a whiney bitch. I don't blame you. But let's get back to pogs, I mean stalkers, shall we?
STALKERS DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN. I don't like stalkers! Stop creepin and crawlin! This aint the monster mash. This is my life! I'm not Tracy Gold. I'm not fat and washed up, I don't need stalkers to raise my self esteem. If any of you don't think a stalker would brighten up Tracy Gold's life you are surely mistaken. Please note: I am not endorsing the stalking of Tracy Gold, she is just a chick who hasn't been in the spotlight in awhile. You know how women love attention. If someone stalked her she would prob be like "Oh, somebody likes me, lets go get some Fro-yo!" You know? She would prob say "Fro-yo" too. Anytime anyone says "Fro-yo" I die a little inside. Anyway, enough with the frozen yogurt. While I am not endorsing the stalking of Tracy Gold, there are plenty of other celebrities to stalk. You don't need to stalk me! So stop it and stalk someone else instead!