Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Internet Addiction

Scott's Tip Of The Day: So you're addicted to the internet? You want to spend less time surfing the web and more time combing the streets for prostitutes. Big ups. Right on. So how do you do it? Good question. According to China, shock therapy is NOT, I repeat, is NOT an appropriate treatment for internet addiction. Well, there goes that idea. Before reading that article I was almost positive shock therapy was the solution. Here are some other suggestions:

-Get addicted to drugs.
If your drug habit is so out of control you are doing drugs 24/7, that's time you won't be spending at the computer. After you get addicted to drugs you can go to rehab. After rehab hopefully you are cured of your drug problem and weened off of your internet addiction. If you relapse, you can always repeat the process. WARNING: Don't die when doing drugs or this whole process is for nothing.

-Get a girlfriend
Maybe if you spent more time wining and dining a girlfriend and less time jackin' it to Japanese bukaki internet porn, you wouldn't be on the internet so much?

-Destroy your computer and your phone
If you don't have a computer or a phone, you probably can't get on the internet. No access to internet, no addiction. Problem solved.

-Make some friends
If you are too much of a spazz to get a girlfriend, you are too puny and weak to destroy your computer and you can't afford a debilitating drug habit, maybe you should make some friends? NO. Not on the internet! In real life. "But Scott, I can't remember what having friends in real life is like." Well, they are just like friends on the internet, except they don't mollest children and they don't have numerals after their name. You can meet these friends in a book club, the back room of an adult video store or an NRA meeting.

Even if you kick your internet addiction, it's ok to check out No one could blame you for that.


Anonymous said...

Bukaki. Gross. That made me hate sex even more. =p

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