Monday, July 13, 2009
Scott's Tip Of The Day: You know what really grinds my gears? Uh. Hmm. Where was I? What was I saying? I can't remember. Do you? I was complaining about something and then... No? Nothing? Man, memory loss can be a problem. It is a disease inflicting 5,999,999,999 people on earth. The one guy it doesn't effect? Rain Man. That guy can remember everything. From where to buy his underwear (K-mart) to random baseball player statistics. Good for him. But for the rest of us, we need ways to retain information. Here are three easy tips to help you remember things and/or cope with memory loss
-Tattoo any important information on your body. Grocery lists, important dates, addresses, phone numbers etc. When you run out of room you can always just remove expired information with laser surgery.
-Stop smoking, injecting, ingesting and sniffing drugs. Drugs mess up your mind. If you do too many you might forget not to poop your pants. While that would be hilarious for all of your friends, it would not be for you. Unless you wear adult diapers...because then the joke's on them.
-Do less stuff. The less people you know, the less places you go, the less you will have to remember. It's a lot easier to remember things if you're an agoraphobe. You won't have too much to remember if you never leave your house.