Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Worst Creation Of The Post WWII Era
Scott's Tip Of The Day: What is the worst creation of the Post WWII era? Pet Rocks? Kyrgyzstan? Scientology? All good guesses, but no. The answer, my friends, is the 1987 collaboration between the Beach Boys and the Fat Boys, Wipe Out.
Now don't get me wrong...The Beach Boys are arguably one of the best Rock & Roll groups of all time, but post 1975 they contributed nothing to the world except for the hit, Kokomo. (Their appearances on Full house do not constitute a contribution to society). And the Fat Boys? Everyone forgot about the Fat Boys....and that's a good thing. It's a wonder they weren't tried in the Hague before the International Criminal Court for their 1987 film, Disorderlies. Surely that constitutes a crime against humanity. Can you name one song by the Fat Boys? You can? Then I don't want to be your friend anymore.
Nobody likes fat people unless they are comedians. Even then they can be funny and repulsive at the same time. And the Fat Boys are not comedians. Just because it's fun to laugh at them, it doesn't mean they are comedians.
Nobody likes old people. The Beach Boys were old, even in 1987. Wipe Out is a combination of old people and fat people. At least if we were dealing with old, fat people, there would be less persons involved and they would presumably inflict less pain on their audience. But here we have old AND fat people. What a nightmare! You have probably already watched the Wipe Out youtube video, that I cruelly included in this post, and for that I am not sorry, because knowing some of my readers watched that, makes me laugh. If you can't handle the emotional scarring, then put on your fat pants, eat some Ben & Jerry's and throw Beaches in the VCR. You can have a good cry. Let it all out. Always a good cathartic experience. If you have a Y chromosome and Beaches isn't for you, then you can contact Rekall and have your memories replaced/erased.
Don't be mad at me. Sometimes lessons are tough.