Tuesday, April 28, 2009

James... The Conclusion -Scott's Fourth Letter


Scott,

Evolution vs. creationism….really? This is a hot issue? To who? Televangelists that want your money(maybe they’ll send you that ten bucks, I still don’t believe you didn’t spellcheck), come on, this issue should be colder than Ted Williams….bottom line…we’re all gonna die, and at that point it won’t matter how we got here.

Socialized health care? You better head north, great idea, but we’ll never see it in the states. Moot point, move on.

Which leaves us with questions guys ask over a beer, around the pool table. Sure, we’d all love Megan Fox in a schoolgirl outfit, but sometimes you just crave the classics!

…..and if I remember correctly, Gilligan’s Island was in color….i’m keepin’ the ten-spot for that.

James


James,

The first season of Gilligan's Island was in black and white. It would have taken a ten second Google search to figure that out. So you actually don't remember correctly, you shirk your bets and you're lazy. If you can't afford to bet ten dollars, don't make the bet. It's irresponsible money management like this that got America into this financial crisis. Well, it may be a crisis for world governments but it is not a crisis for me. I have certain tools at my disposal that the FTC and Congress do not...hired goons. And you better believe they are coming to collect.

Furthermore, your opinions on hot topic issues are supported by no evidence, other than your opinions and observations. I am not contending that socialized health care is feasible, but your argument is completely unsubstantiated. All we have to go on is your reputation. If James says it's so, is it so? Well What do we know about James?

-James doesn't honor his ten dollar bets
-James can't decide which 70-year-old lady he wants to date
-James plays Scrabble on first dates, then contemplates whether to play the word "chlamydia"

What do we know about Scott
-Scott provides tips of the day to the world for free
-Scott resembles Cookie Puss, a delicious Carvel ice cream cake
-Scott's knowledge of pop-culture is unparalleled

Scott wins. Who doesn't love a charitable, all-knowing ice cream cake? Well, OK, people who are lactose intolerant, but besides that? Right! No one! James, I appreciate your input but this is the last letter of yours I am going to publish. If anyone who is not a sexual deviant would like to write a letter to Scott's Tip Of The Day, please email ScottsTipOfTheDay@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you and I look forward to your letters.