Saturday, September 18, 2010

2010 Questions/Answers Installment 11



Scott's Tip Of The Day:

I received the following e-mail in my inbox this morning...

Dear Scott,
I like your blog. I also like muffins. Do you like muffins? Cunningham muffins are the best. See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tcR19y7GPM
Also, this is completely unrelated, but are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? Vampires or werewolves? Nosferatu or Loup-garou? If you could be one, which one would you be? I think I'd be a vampire and then I would get a blood muffin from Cunningham muffns. Plus, if I were a vampire I wouldn't have to wake up in the morning. I hate mornings and morning people piss me off. They would be the people I would eat first.

Domo Origato, Mr Scott-o.

Sincerely,
Brittany aka Looksie Lovitz (No relation to John Lovitz, as clearly this is not my real name and besides, John Lovitz is clearly superior. Why isn't The Critic still on TV??)

http://looksielovitz.blogspot.com/ <<==If you are expecting this to be a hilarious blog. It isn't. At all. It's my really corny book blog that in no way fully expresses my hilarity and awesomeness, but if I don't release my excess corny-ness, it takes over and makes me less awesome. So I recommend not visiting it unless you want to see me obsess about fictional 17 yr old boys. But if that's what you're into, it's cool. I don't judge.


Looksie Lovitz,

I am glad you like my blog, Looksie. I checked out yours. Books and Wits. We don't have the same taste in literature but I won't hold that against you. You like to read. You're passionate about it. I respect your difference in opinion. I mean you could do something crazy like obsess over Twilight instead, right? Oh wait. You already do that.

Believe it or not I have stayed as far away from the Twilight series as possible. I am not a huge fan of vampires. The 1922 film, Nosferatu, was the original vampire flick and it had anti-semetic undertones. Google it. There's a wealth of information on the subject. The vampire represents the "Jewish Plague." As a Jew, that doesn't really make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'm not big into the anti-semitism. Despite what you hear, I have no vampire super powers....unless you consider a Jew-nose a super power. I tend to get allergies, so no, I don't even have a super sense of smell.

Furthermore, Twilight just looks like a gay porn without the sex. The pretty boys can't act and the dialogue leaves a little to be desired. If I wanted to watch gay porn I would rent gay porn. I prefer to use my leisure time pursuing other more constructive activities. Like writing ridiculous letters to the makers of Jack Daniels and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yeah. I really did that. So far no response though. But I digress...

Your youtube muffin link is frightening. Maybe the Yom Kippur fast is dulling my sense of humor but I am just not digging it, I'm sorry.

I never used to be a morning person but then I got a job where I have to get to work early. I'm a morning person now, but not by choice, so please don't drink my blood. Since you like Jon Lovitz, maybe drink his? He is a pretty big dude. Plenty of blood. I used to watch the Critic too but I saw an episode recently and it hasn't aged well. There's a lot of good TV on these days. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Eastbound and Down. The Life and Times of Tim. You have other options so I would look toward the future and not get hung up on the past.

I wish you luck with your blog though, Looksie and even though we have our differences I still appreciate your fan mail. I'd check out some other authors though. Tom Wolfe. Hunter S. Thompson. Brett Easton Ellis. Ken Kesey. These guys write good stuff and their books aren't in the kids section. Check em out. But you don't have to take my word for it. Buh nuh nuh!

20 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

Scott.. I can't tell you how long its been since I've heard anyone mention Ken Kesey. Especially one who is close in age to my son. His books were the bomb when I was growing up (that is if you were a "head" and not a "jock"). Who else would travel around with a bunch of guys and trip on LSD and write a great book about it? Or his "one flew east, one flew west..." book that went on to be one of the greatest movies of my generation. Sorry, I got carried away by hearing a blast from the past. I too am not at all interested in these vampire crappy acting shows that are now on. It's good to know that some of the younger generation aren't fans of it either. But, to each his own I say.

Shanimal said...

Ridiculous letters to Jack Daniels and Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Well, sir, have you read Letters From a Nut by Ted L. Nancy? Oh wait, is Ted L. Nancy your pseudonym and you wrote all those ridiculous letters that were able to get published into a book? Or maybe Ted L. Nancy was your inspiration for writing ridiculous letters to companies. Or maybe you had the idea to write ridiculous letters on your own. Hmm. I'm intrigued.

Candice said...

Okay, I just have to give you a round of applause for the "Reading Rainbow" reference. I freakin' LOVED that show when I was a kid. :)

Scott said...

I have most certainly read Letters From a Nut. I love it and Nancy definitely inspired me.

Bouncin Barb - one of my prized possessions is a copy of One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest signed to Scott. Kesey even drew a trippy picture in the front cover.

Shanimal said...

I just read your comment that you have One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest signed to Scott. Freakin' awesome!! I love that book! And the movie wasn't half bad, either. Dang, I am going to start a brownie point list for you...and I don't usually do that for people (you're welcome). But with the Letters From a Nut and then this whole One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest thing, I just have to give points to you. Also, you hate this Twilight crap--I do too. There's a third point for you. Keep up the good work.

Sam said...

I am really stuck on the Reading Rainbow reference-despite the fact that this entire post was completely hilarious (and I would really like you to post the letters written to Jack Daniels & Cinnamon Toast Crunch please post them) Reading Rainbow always made me want to go to the public library. Reading Rainbow is the shizznizzle! (sp?)

Jenni said...

I think they just want the blog exposure by being weird and "random".

You stay awesome, now, ya hear?

DESVENTURAS DE DAVI said...

Congratulations! I enjoyed your blog.
I am Brazilian and my blog is: www.desventurasdedavi.com
until another visit.

Eamonn McAvinue said...

Hey, love your blog!!! from Dublin Ireland

Bouncin' Barb said...

Scott--that truly is a prized posession. Wow.

Krystan said...

All right, your funny; I like it. I'm a follower now. I absolutely cannot blog about randomness. It's too hard! I mean what random thing do you pick?!? So, instead I blog about life. It's so much easier, I only have one of those....

The Rubik's Man said...

Wow this is a pretty great blog. Why not check mine out!

Amy said...

I love this video so much. Saw your blog on blogs of note and came this way. Very neat stuff so far!

Scarlet said...

I agree about Twilight... God I'm glad I live on a rock and have had minimal exposure to that crap!
Hope you had a good fast.

KABO said...

Your blogs are a great escape from the stress and usually tears of my life right now (seven undergraduate classes and a job is actually hard to handle...who would figure that?). Thanks for the chuckles.

Oh but as an English major I have to say that while the Twilight books are awful if you sit back and think about them, if you just turn your brain off they rock, and sometimes turning your brain off is a good thing for a while. The movies totally suck, I'll give you that.

Suicide Kitten said...

Sparkly boy + insecure girls - a high IQ = My poor bleeding brain!

Shanimal and Scarlet you may enjoy this :)

http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

TOM said...

I hate twighlight but if you want a film thats gay porn get bruno

The Sword of Odin Knife Blog said...

Hello Scott,

I must say, I found your blog very entertaining and the video you posted brought a smile to my face... absolutely hilarious! I am now a follower.

Please stop by and check out my blog.

Keep it up!

Looksie Lovitz said...

I actually loooooove Fear and Loathing in las Vegas both the book and the movie. Also Eastbound and Down is probably my favorite show EVER. I read alot more than the corny stuff but my blog is geared toward YA so that's all i can write about on there. Like I said, I need to extract the corny-ness somewhere thus the corny blog.

And basically when writing that email to you, i set out to write something strange to try to creep you out. i do not fantasize about sparkly vampires... ok maybe a little. i have no shame.

Teen Queen said...

dude! that person has some issues. like, serious adhd, man.