Wednesday, September 22, 2010

2010 Questions/Answers Installment 14



Scott's Tip Of The Day: I received the following email in my inbox this morning....

Hello Scott.

I was checking out the blog a "friend" of mine has started and came accross blogs she has been following. I was really enjoying the customer service on Jack Daniels and clearly South Africa has better customer service than wherever it is you live... Where is that by the way?

Thought the letter from Cheese Face was funny too... Cheese Face. hahahaha :)

Then I moved onto something which shocked me to my core! APPLE JUICE over ORANGE JUICE. At first glance I thought it would be about O.J Simpson, only to see it was from a sneaky little South African named SUICIDE KITTEN! You can imagine my dispare when I read through the blog and realised sweet little Kitten was plotting my downfall!

So here is my question, how do I get back at a little Kitten who is plotting to turn me into a PINK fluffy bunny!?! I have seen her plans for my outfit and they are scarey! A bright PINK speedo with a PINK fluffy tail attached, Big Ears and fluffy NIPPLE-CAPS!!! It will be my first trip to Comic Con (she has been three times already) and I think she would look alot better in the nipple-caps than I will!!! So? Some advice on how to take down the Kitten with a death wish?

Just for a little revenge I have already decorated her room in Twilight pictures :) with a little help from her sister. Can't wait to see her face when she gets back from work :) I'll send you a pic if I survive. I guess if she kills me, I wont have to worry about being a pink bunny in nipple-caps.

Much Thanks,

Jarred.


Jarred,

I live in NYC. The big apple. The city that never sleeps. The only city that matters. As far as Suicide Kitten goes...
I think you are being a bit dramatic. Plotting your downfall? Wearing a strange costume at Comic Con is pretty much par for the course. It doesn't seem like she is trying to bring you down. Quite the contrary actually.

It sounds like you and Suicide Kitten have crushes on each other. Are you guys more than friends? Even though you're complaining about getting embarrassed, all I am really hearing is "Man, I totally have a crush on Suicide Kitten." Have you told her you loved her? Have you guys ever hooked up?

Before we address the costume situation, I really think you need to tell her how you feel. Maybe you can even exchange sexual favors for not wearing the costume. It puzzles me why you would make a bet like that and put yourself in that position in the first place, but what's done is done. Go to Kitten's house and profess your undying love for her. Let me know what happens.

If you have any other questions please feel free to hit me at scottstipoftheday@gmail.com. Thanks!

10 comments:

Suicide Kitten said...

Ok… WOW… I am a little stressed right now. My room has Twilight pictures in it! Hahahaha That is sad… :) Scotty, can I call you Scotty? I like it better than Scott. Jarred is my boyfriend’s younger brother :) He is 100% not in love with me hahahaha! I’m not plotting Jay’s downfall and I agree he is being way to dramatic about the nipple caps, they are not pink, they are white :) Plus his nipples might get cold… I was only thinking of him :) hahahaha. I agree that he should have never gotten involved in my little bet if he would have a problem with the consequences. I will definitely go dressed as a bunny if I lose. I don’t want to but I will do it without getting all hot under the collar… :) but I’m not going to lose :) hahahaha BUT as a sign of friendship, I will drop the bet and not force Jarred to wear a bunny costume, if he admits that apple juice is better than orange juice :) I think that is a good deal. Don’t you? xo

Scott said...

You're a good sport Suicide Kitten.
BUT, maybe he still is secretly in love with you? Brother falling in love with his brother's girlfriend? It's an age old tale. Watch out now!

Suicide Kitten said...

Why thank you Scotty :) I promise not to take your warning lightly.

Jarred.Marshal said...

I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHERS GIRLFRIEND! That is mental! I like her as a friend! Orange juice is better! I will not lie! You will lose!

Sam said...

Jarred I feel that I must jump in here and assist you as you seem to be having some trouble here. So-Orange Juice is better than Apple Juice for several reasons:
1) Orange Juice has a much better sweet to sour ratio than Apple Juice-Apple Juice is ostentatiously sweet and makes my eyes water
2) Orange Juice is a bright cheery sunshiny orange and Apple Juice could very well be confused with a urine sample. NO
3)The brilliant minds that come up with breakfast cereal commercials & lay out the breakfast spread all fresh and tasty looking most often put a glass of ORANGE Juice next to their work of art-b/c as we all know brown looking juice is just not appealing to the eye.
So clearly OJ is better. It's yumtastick!
Jarred I feel that I must jump in here and assist you as you seem to be having some trouble here. So-Orange Juice is better than Apple Juice for several reasons:
1) Orange Juice has a much better sweet to sour ratio than Apple Juice-Apple Juice is ostentatiously sweet and makes my eyes water
2) Orange Juice is a bright cheery sunshiny orange and Apple Juice could very well be confused with a urine sample. NO
3)The brilliant minds that come up with breakfast cerial commercials & lay out the breakfast spread all fresh and tasty looking most often put a glass of ORANGE Juice next to their work of art-b/c as we all know brown looking juice is just not appealing to the eye.
So clearly OJ is better. It's yumtastick!
http://rotdujour.blogspot.com/

Suicide Kitten said...

HAHAHAHA!
Sam I think maybe you think Mr. Marshal over here is good looking and wanted to help him out of his little jam :) He is single, tall, drinks red wine and likes long walks on the beach :) hahahaha
Ok fare enough they use the very pretty looking Orange juice to advertise breakfast but it does not mean it tastes better, Guacamole looks like mashed up baby poo but no one is telling you to eat strawberry jam with your nachos instead :) I’m not saying Orange juice is disgusting and you should never drink it, I’m just saying Apple is better :)
P.S. Why are you repeating yourself? I think it’s all that Orange Juice you have been drinking, it’s messing with your head ;)
xo

Jarred.Marshal said...

Thank You Sam!
I agree completely… No one wants to drink pee!
I was at Kitten’s house yesterday and her mom came home with groceries. There was orange juice. Oh yes delicious bright orange juice. Made my day. I probley shouldn’t have said anything about it when she got home and found pictures of Edward and Bella all over her room, but I did and she punched me. It was a little punch and barely hurt but a punch none the less. I think my little kitten has anger management issues hahahahaha! So Sam, does this mean I can add your name to my list of people who prefer orange juice to apple juice?

Sam said...

Well Suicidal Cat-I'm not sure exactly why I was repeating myself-seems like a fuck up of sorts doesn't it? Doubt it's the OJ though. And I did want to help Mr. Marshal out-as you say-it seemed as though he was losing the battle there a bit I just couldn't take it. (As an aside-I am newly married and 30 years old so romantic attachment's not a likely motivation-but hey wth)
Mr. Marshal you can totally add me to the list of people who prefer OJ-I vote OJ everyone!! Even Cat's mom votes OJ (maybe that's why she has a distaste for it?) On principle I hate everything my mother likes.

Cheese Face said...

Hey, I'd like to thank reader Jarred, for mentioning me. Check out my blog. just clicky the name

Suicide Kitten said...

Well that is good to hear Sam and congratulations on your marriage :) Hope your hubby likes orange juice. It is true; my mother dearest enjoys a glass of orange pulp in the morning… Heck, I even poor it for her sometimes… :) Mr. Marshal and I have decided to drop the bet as it is causing a few problems. It was a stupid bet to begin with and I guess I should be glad it is over :) I would have won though :) Sorry for the late reply. My job doesn’t allow for a lot of blogging time… Or anything else which involves electronics :) hahahahaha. My mom and I have very similar tastes, in everything from clothes to music :) she is a rad lady and I think I can proudly say that I have the coolest mom ever :) We like pretty much the same things, to the point where I will let my mom go clothes shopping for me :) She never disappoints :) sometimes she will buy me clothes I wouldn’t have taken a second look at, 99% of the time I put it on and love it. The other 1% of the time she will accept that I don’t like it and will take it back :) I love my mommy :) so nope, can’t blame my mom for my tastes in fruit juice. Oh and Cheese Face… Why so you call yourself Cheese Face? Do you like cheese? A lot? I like cheese… most cheese… I hate blue cheese… bleh.
xo