Friday, September 10, 2010

Don't Be Creepy



Scott's Tip Of The Day: As you guys know, you are always welcome to email me at scottstipoftheday@gmail.com with any questions or concerns you might have. Everything from "Why does God Hate me?" (Because you're ugly) to "How do I get my head out from between these rails?" (Jaws of life). But you know what I don't want? Emails like this:

My beloved Dearest One,

I am more than happy coming across an interesting profile/email as yours, Let me start here by saying compliment of the day to you and I hope you are doing fine as I am over here? It will be of a great honor if you could respond to my message and I guess that will give me a good chance of introducing my very simple self to you and you as well introduce your self to me. It will be of a joy if we could simply take our time to learn about each other by starting to be good friends, share pictures, share ideas and dreams, talking about our personal life, secrets, sharing our happiness and sadness and more. To be open and honest to you it’s really interest me to be your friend through this communication as we see what it will be in the near future. If you really do not mind I will like to ask you for a favor and I guess you will be asking what favor by now right? Please kindly take your time to write me back through my personal email address AT: doctoreTomY2K@yahoo.com for easy and better communication. I have a lot to share with you, so I can go ahead to write on and on but I have to stop here at the moment waiting to hear from you as a sign that you are willing to be my friend too. For now have a blessed day with many kisses and hugs bye for now.


Yours Sincerely Friend To Be.

DR. TOM FRANKY CLEM


I am pretty sure this is spam, but not 100% positive so I think it makes sense to address this and clear the air. I really don't know what to make of this Dr. Tom Clem. You are awfully friendly for a stranger. It kind of sounds like you just popped six pills of ecstasy and decided to go surfing on the internet. Since I don't know you, I am not related to you and I am fairly certain I am heterosexual, I am going to politely decline the kisses and hugs you offered me. I wish I could say I appreciate the gesture, but honestly you kind of gave me the heebie jeebies.

So readers, I would love to hear from you. but please. PLEASE. Don't be creepy.

******UPDATE*****************************

I decided to write back to Dr. Tom

Dr. Tom,

If you want to be my friend you must answer the following questions:

1)What are you a doctor of?

2)Have you ever eaten frickles? Those are fried pickles. If not you must eat one before you email me back and tell me what you think. If you have already have eaten them, I don't care. Make some Goddamn frickles and eat them and tell me what you think of them anyway. I want a picture of you making the frickles and another picture of you putting them in your mouth.

3)A train leaves San Diego, CA at 9:34AM traveling 19 miles an hour. Another train leaves on the same day from new York City at 5:39 AM. Please keep in mind CA is on Western Time which is 3 hours behind NY. Now, if both trains are heading toward each other, how long will it take before they crash head on? Please look at the railroad map, as they can't take the most direct route, which would be a straight line. They must travel on already existing train tracks.

Dr. Tom. Answer me these questions correctly and we can be friends. Please don't forget to show you work on question number 3.

-Scott

25 comments:

Bethany said...

Maybe it's really hate mail but when they put it in their translator this is what came up, and they don't know the difference because hey--they're foreign.

BeMistified said...

This made me laugh. The picture, is just that, creepy. Your email, well um I suggest to run away! Haha! You rock.

monkeyfuel said...

Wow. That is creepy. I wouldn't have even responded.

becca said...

don't much like the picture and as for the email run run fast..lol

http://becca-mycrazystuff.blogspot.com/

Molly_beee said...

You are genius. I literally laughed out loud at your response.

Ntsaki C Cabana said...

I'd really like to know whether or not this individual has replied to your e-mail. (Frickles sound interesting, by the way - I think I'll try them and let you know too.) I'm interested in finding out if you two will actually become friends. I think anyone who has the balls to come across as THAT creepy and THAT weird absolutely has to be cool. Well, either that or he just wants to eat you. I'm just saying.

Janelle Hunte said...

I love that you replied to Tom! While it seems we can't be friends since I've never had a frickle (heart-breaking as I type), you certainly have a new fan. The photo was seriously creepy though, let's not do that one again. Hugs and kisses! ROTFL

Adam B said...

Well, just look at how he lets his daughter color her hair like a stripper - creepy indeed!

Sam said...

1.) This post is hilarious-my coffee almost came out of my nose.

2.) I had never heard of Frickles until moments ago...I will have to try and make some-they sound awful.

3.) Acually your entire blog is hilarious-thanks Blogs of Note

Decadentress said...

http://aestheticandmovies.blogspot.com/

you're funny!

Mike Fields said...

Hey Your kind of creepy dude! InFact you remind me of Uncle touchy! Mike Fields www.randomdancing1.blogspot.com

CCOL4HIM said...

LOL!That is so funny. I wish I had thought of saying something like that to the Nigerian (and other) scammers who fill my email inboxes with false promises.

$o$o said...

are you and tom now friends? http://tberecordsblog.blogspot.com/

Dexy Do Dah Dog said...

LOL! That dude is seriously creepy, maybe his the one that took the photo?

http://dexydodahdog.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

OMG...FILARIOUS!!!!
I could not stop laughing.

Shanimal said...

Umm...basically you're my hero for your response to that dude's love letter. Classic.

lettucehead said...

Dr. Tom sounds insane enough to respond.


http://lettuce-head.blogspot.com/


:)

Scarlet said...

LMFAO... And a little bit creeped out...
Love your reply!

Bambi Blue said...

Is this your good friend the Dr.?:)

http://groups.google.com/group/birding-aus/browse_thread/thread/b9558cb746091a4b/652bda7e01fe3373?lnk=raot&pli=1

The name is exactly the same -- could be! I'm all pins and needles to see if he responds!

TonyG said...

Oh wow, He seriously started the Email with "My beloved Dearest One". If this alone does not raise Creepy reading to maximum I do not know what will.

http://hiddenlens.blogspot.com/

The Alaskan Reviewer said...

We just call them fried pickles. Mainly because frickles doesn't sound heterosexual. Thus I question your statement proclaiming your heterosexuality. Also you forgot the 'r' on 'your' at the end.

Reality Bites. said...

Haha "Don´t be creepy."

That is fantastic.

One day when I think of a witty enough question I will email you. Don´t worry. I won´t be creepy.

http://realitybites247.blogspot.com/

MADE IN SA said...

I am impressed the first funny blog I found here..

air max 95 said...

It's fun!Ha ha!

randmthnkr said...

Hilarious! I loved your response!