Tuesday, September 7, 2010
2010 Questions/Answers Installment 8
Scott's Tip Of The Day: First, I would like to thank Blogs of Note for featuring me on their page. It's an honor.
Next up is an email from a fellow blogger...
My question is, how did you get 54 followers with such an inane blog?I mean buying old pepsi? Even I know that has got to bring on a near death experience. And you paid for it? I wil be glad to send you a 3 month old potatoe for you to video as you eat it. Please send your mailing address. Admit it, Are they your friends?
My probem is that I write better stuff than you and with humor and no one will admit to reading me and following me. Even my so called friends. You even write sporadically and I am dedicating myslef to write almost everyday. Do you think its over exposure? Have you exposed yourself to pick up followers? That I would like to see, and probably other followers of yours too.
What do you think?
First off, at 11:25AM today (EST) I have 97 blog followers. I don't know where you learned to count but 97 does not equal 54.
Second, potato is not spelled with an e. Remember Dan Quayle? He said a lot of stupid things but the stupidest thing he ever did was tell a kid to spell Potato with an "e". Don't be like Dan Quayle, Doreen. Don't be like Dan Quayle.
Third, I may be beating a dead horse here but you have other numerous spelling errors in your email. I checked out your blog and there are multiple spelling errors there as well. Were you drunk when you wrote to me? Do you get sauced up before you write your blog entries? Do you like alcohol? Let's look at your picture on your blog:
What's that in your hand? A black Russian? Did you spike your chocolate milk?
I'll consider giving you my address if you send me old alcohol. Like maybe a 20-year-old wine or a 12-year-old Scotch. I don't really have any interest in eating old potatoes though. (Yeah, Potato plural is spelled with an 'e'). Maybe nobody admits to reading or following you because you can't spell? Maybe it's because your tone is jealous and bitter.
Fourth, I admire your ambition to become a blogger extraordinaire. Writing every day is a good way to improve your writing skills. Practice, practice, practice. In your case I may recommend writing more than once a day. Perhaps once an hour? You need all the help you can get.
Fifth, just because you find yourself funny doesn't mean other people do. I mean come on. You are a little late to the party with your Sarah Palin blog entry. And then another one on baking cookies? Where's the humor in that? If all you are out to do is get people to read your blog then just post pictures of kittens.
Sixth, I never had to expose myself to attract new blog readers. If you are desperate for new readers you could try exposing yourself. You write a humor blog and I think people would find your naked body pretty funny.
Seventh, you know how I started picking up readers on my blog? When I began writing about two years ago, I sought out people with similar blogs to me. People who had funny stuff to say. People who were clever. I wrote to them and asked them for advice on starting a successful blog. I traded blog links with some of them. I keep in touch with a lot of these people today. We write PLEASANT (ERHEM) emails back and forth. Making connections is a great way to be successful, both in blogging and in life. Sending obnoxious emails to strangers is not.
If any of my reading audience has any questions I would be happy to field them. You can ask me anything. Please email me your questions to email@example.com. You don't have to be polite, but then again, as evidenced above, neither do I. :-)