Tuesday, September 7, 2010

2010 Questions/Answers Installment 8



Scott's Tip Of The Day: First, I would like to thank Blogs of Note for featuring me on their page. It's an honor.

Next up is an email from a fellow blogger...

Scott

My question is, how did you get 54 followers with such an inane blog?I mean buying old pepsi? Even I know that has got to bring on a near death experience. And you paid for it? I wil be glad to send you a 3 month old potatoe for you to video as you eat it. Please send your mailing address. Admit it, Are they your friends?
My probem is that I write better stuff than you and with humor and no one will admit to reading me and following me. Even my so called friends. You even write sporadically and I am dedicating myslef to write almost everyday. Do you think its over exposure? Have you exposed yourself to pick up followers? That I would like to see, and probably other followers of yours too.
What do you think?
doreenmccabe.blogspot.com


Doreen,

First off, at 11:25AM today (EST) I have 97 blog followers. I don't know where you learned to count but 97 does not equal 54.

Second, potato is not spelled with an e. Remember Dan Quayle? He said a lot of stupid things but the stupidest thing he ever did was tell a kid to spell Potato with an "e". Don't be like Dan Quayle, Doreen. Don't be like Dan Quayle.

Third, I may be beating a dead horse here but you have other numerous spelling errors in your email. I checked out your blog and there are multiple spelling errors there as well. Were you drunk when you wrote to me? Do you get sauced up before you write your blog entries? Do you like alcohol? Let's look at your picture on your blog:



What's that in your hand? A black Russian? Did you spike your chocolate milk?

I'll consider giving you my address if you send me old alcohol. Like maybe a 20-year-old wine or a 12-year-old Scotch. I don't really have any interest in eating old potatoes though. (Yeah, Potato plural is spelled with an 'e'). Maybe nobody admits to reading or following you because you can't spell? Maybe it's because your tone is jealous and bitter.

Fourth, I admire your ambition to become a blogger extraordinaire. Writing every day is a good way to improve your writing skills. Practice, practice, practice. In your case I may recommend writing more than once a day. Perhaps once an hour? You need all the help you can get.

Fifth, just because you find yourself funny doesn't mean other people do. I mean come on. You are a little late to the party with your Sarah Palin blog entry. And then another one on baking cookies? Where's the humor in that? If all you are out to do is get people to read your blog then just post pictures of kittens.

Sixth, I never had to expose myself to attract new blog readers. If you are desperate for new readers you could try exposing yourself. You write a humor blog and I think people would find your naked body pretty funny.

Seventh, you know how I started picking up readers on my blog? When I began writing about two years ago, I sought out people with similar blogs to me. People who had funny stuff to say. People who were clever. I wrote to them and asked them for advice on starting a successful blog. I traded blog links with some of them. I keep in touch with a lot of these people today. We write PLEASANT (ERHEM) emails back and forth. Making connections is a great way to be successful, both in blogging and in life. Sending obnoxious emails to strangers is not.

If any of my reading audience has any questions I would be happy to field them. You can ask me anything. Please email me your questions to scottstipoftheday@gmail.com. You don't have to be polite, but then again, as evidenced above, neither do I. :-)

50 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

Just reading your reply to Doreen has made me a follower regardless of anything else you've written or will write. That was great! I am just starting out in the blogger world and will follow your advice regarding meeting new bloggers like myself. Thank you for the tip and Doreen should look for blogs by searching the keyword "manners".

Michele Clark said...

Too funny! Why do people feel like they need to put down someone else's blog? If you don't like it, don't read it. I'm fairly new too and just came across yours. Love it. Keep up what you're doing.
Michele
http://thenot-so-secretlifeofasoccermom.blogspot.com

Roxane said...

wow scott,
you ripped her head off :P though you forgot the fact that she even HAS a 3 months old potato!
x
Roxane

Jenni said...

Nice!!! You sir, are hilarious. And what's worse is she's a grown woman! I'd expect this out of someone my own age, but who has the time to go out of their way to criticize a blog? And leave their name, e-mail address, and blog link? Now she's going to have about 90 people trolling her page.

If she read more than one of your posts, she'd expect this.

Jenni said...

Okay, wait, the more I read this, the more funny it is. She has one follower and her friends don't admit to reading her blog? What's so wrong about friends being interested in their friend's blogs? My sister follows my blog. Does that make me a bad person?
Clearly Scott, you are a 13 year old girl, because only a female of that age would be devastated by such an e-mail.

Jessica said...

I like you.

LittleInsect said...

Love your reply. Most people would have just ignored her. I agree with Michele, there's no need to put down someone else's blog. A lot of people write a blog as a form of self-expression, and maybe to help themselves get their life in perspective. As the header of my blog says 'this is me - take me or leave me, I really don't care.
I may well read your blog some more - but I know one person's blog I won't go near.......

Robson/Jerome said...

Dear Scott,
You are a funny guy. I love this response!! We've also just started blogging, my friend Jerome and I will be giving similar nuggets of info to your tip of the day, but while on our year abroad in Tokyo. We'll take your advice re meeting new bloggers, all a bit new to us!
Please keep up the hilarity,
Robson (of Robson and Jerome: The Tokyo Chronicles - http://taketokyo.blogspot.com/)

Kev D. said...

Amazing. Nice picture. Is she having a picnic? I wonder if anyone is at her picnic. I guess if anyone went to her picnic, they wouldn't admit to being there. Not even her so-called friends.

Keep it up.

highway10revisited.blogspot.com/

Николай Муляр said...

It's great =)

Kfred said...

YIKES!

I guess that whole "I Fought the Law and the Law Won" thing is true then, Huh?

(n)Flatline Thinking

Undisclosed Disclosures said...

I think I'm in love with this post.

Candice said...

I may be new here, but I like you already. Doreen is a bit full of herself, and clearly needed to be taken down a peg or two. Excellent response. It made me smile. :)

http://candicesstories.blogspot.com/

Rachel Hoyt said...

I too joined merely because of your reply to Doreen. The saddest part is that you don't even need to be a "good writer" to get things spelled right... you just need to figure out which button is the spell check button! Haha.

I'll be watching for future wacky postings such as your crystal pepsi challenge for possible inclusion in one of my poems.
www.rhymemeasmile.blogspot.com

Flower said...

Just as Boucin' Barb said, "Just reading your reply to Doreen has made me a follower regardless of anything else you've written or will write." Though I did read some earlier posts as I considered.
Made me smile, and look forward to reading more posts that make me smile too.

Ely Ann said...

Hi Scott,
I just stumbled upon your blog and read the last post. I was impressed by the wit of your reply to your "fellow blogger". It was sarcastic without sounding arrogant but simply honest. Like "Bouncin'Barb" said in the comment below, just your reply to Doreen will make me a new follower!
Have a good evening, (... well, ok I don't know what the time for you is but it's evening here in Italy! ;) )
Ely Ann

Marty said...

LOL, she really deserved that. Like Bouncin' Barb, I've just started blogging (today!) and I'm just gathering confidence to continue.

Bitter people like Doreen will always try to pull others down to their level. I think your record speaks for itself, s does hers.

Julie @ www.downtimeweblog.com said...

Congrats on being B.O.N.ed as Annah of Red Means Go would say. I had never read your blog until today, but your response to Doreen totally sold me. Hilarious!

Bushman said...

Your sharp wit keeps me in stitches. You now have me paranoid about my spelling which makes me laugh as well. I believe her blogging to be an attempt at stardom, fame, perhaps fortune. Must have been forgotten as a child. Of course everything we write we think is good. I think my crap is good crap. Point is you don't do this for fame and fortune, you do it because it is a way to express yourself and if people like it congratulations. If not there is always knitting!
No offense to you knitters out there.LOL

Scott said...

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am really excited that you all enjoy my blog and it really makes writing it worthwhile. I started this blog almost two years ago and I had no idea what I was doing. Anyone can be a great blogger with a little practice (and spellcheck). If any of you ever have any questions please feel free to email me at scottstipoftheday@gmail.com and I will try to answer them for you!

Jamie said...

HA! You, sir, are amazing! I almost think Doreen might deserve a 'thank you' for sending you an e-mail that obviously lacked thought, but had such a plethera of word errors. I love it!

Teen Queen said...

that is funny. that was AMAZING!!!!! what an arrogant lady.

Katalalyn said...

Part of me wants very much to laugh till my side hurts and the other part wants to shake my head at the sad fact that you bothered to respond to her. I'm not sure which side is winning out yet.

Trisha said...

Classic!! I am a total follower of yours now! Your response only gets better the more you read it!

ALittleGuitar said...

she looks like a doreen.

* said...

Great post man. Clever humor, I like that. You are the first blogger I'm following. I'm sure you could provide great help and answers but you have instilled caution in me. I'll take a pass on e-mailing you after what I've seen today.=)

lauriekendrick said...

I don't think I could POSSIBLY be more proud of you, Scotty.

BANG....right between the eyes.


Hard to believe the old broad actually had the temerity to write and send that. Amazing.

I know what's in that glass. She's drrinking a big ol' goblet of hubris.

And balls.

Best,
LK

shira said...

I had to check out Doreen's blog, after you gave it such a glowing review ;)

Did you happen to see the Sept. 2nd post "the virtue of being black" - Is this supposed to be funny? I'm confused, cause to me she just sounds like a regular racist.

yaya said...

I found you from blog of note fame...good job! Your blog is really clever and fun and I love the answer to that poor lady's comment!

brookeamanda said...

Oh snap! Bitch got TOLD!

Kaleena J. said...

Haha wow. LOL @ Doreen. Picture me raising the roof on your behalf. I bet she didn't see that coming.

I could maybe see why she thought it would be necessary to criticize your blog if:
1. Your blog wasn't awesome.
2. Her blog was better that yours, which it's not.

Cheers to you.

Kaleena J. said...

Oh and I don't know if you noticed but her ONE follower is herself. LOL

Star said...

Thanks to B.O.N., I just found your blog, today, and found your response to Doreen so perfectly balanced and funny that I, too, will start following your blog.

If I may say so, Thanks, too, for resisting the urge to use a black background. The deep gray (so nicely striped in darker gray, or black) achieves the same desired chic and serious effect, and avoids the evils of a black background (in my opinion): too self-consciously chic to be really chic, great difficulty in reading and surges of oppressive depression.

Star

P.S., Here are *my* two fairly new non-commercial sites to share my passion for hand-done needlepoint (http://arsacupicturaestellae.blogspot.com) and Milan, Italy (http://mymilanitaly.blogspot.com). Thanks!

PriceReview.co.in said...

very nice write-up Thanks for sharing

wheatgerm said...

That was good

Lisa said...

Priceless!

Anonymous said...

Are you married? Cuz I think I just developed a huge crush on you.

Molly_beee said...

I literally just found your blog, and I am already addicted, and will be reading it this semester(fall semester, 2nd year of college) while procrastinating :)

I looked at hers, was not the least bit intrigued. :)

Jim Creedence said...

Tip of the day?
I think this title is enough to be called a blog of Note!
Because all the man needs is a tip of the day every day ...day after day...Congratulations i've got mine...

invisaligngal said...

I have to pretty much say "Ditto" to Bouncin' Barb's entire comment. This entry alone about the less than polite email from Doreen CRACKED ME UP!

I love to laugh, especially when someone is funny. :)
Thank u!

Jaysin C said...

Scott, I think you hit the nail on the head when you told her it sounded like she was a bit jealous. Why else would she be flipping out cause you have more followers. She must not have anything that interesting to post when she is not yelling at you, shit... her own friends won't follow her.

ruairi said...

I can believe she had the bare arse cheek to send you this message... If you dont like something on the net, its easy you just hit the back button, not send a scathing catty message..

Congrats on the blogs of note- you deserve it. Im new in these parts and its great to see great blogs like yours doing great stuff :-)

Regards,

April W said...

Instant Love.

David said...

Hi, I just started reading your blog, and that had me laughing at my computer. Thank you, you've made my day. :)

David said...

Hi, I just started reading your blog, and that had me laughing at my computer. Thank you, you made my day. :)

Reality Bites. said...

Hahahaha YIKES!
That is why you should think twice before insulting someone... At least insulting a writer. That is the dumbest thing you can do.

Definitely a good post for being featured on Blog of the Day.

You definitely have me hooked.

http://realitybites247.blogspot.com/

Reality Bites. said...

That is why you do not insult people who are good with their words.

Best. Response. Ever.

http://realitybites247.blogspot.com/

MichelleLCSW said...

Tee hee hee...your response made me giggle. I like giggling! I'm a follower now, with the grand hopes of giggling every time I read something you write.

shanti said...

Hilarious! Absolutely brilliant....Am looking forward to reading regularly......thanks for posting. X

maria v said...

haha that was hilarious man awsome blog whatan arrogant lady. people these days.