Thursday, September 23, 2010

Discover Cards



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Lately I have been getting a lot of junk mail from Discover Cards. Do I want a Discover card? NO! Have I ever expressed interest in obtaining one? NO! But week in, week out I keep receiving the same promotional letters. Discover is killing tree after tree. And you know what? All I do is throw them out. How many trees are they killing?

I decided to express my displeasure. I googled David Nelms corporate email address. He's the CEO of Discover. It is davidnelms@discover.com. I don't expect a response, but I decided to give him a piece of my mind. If he responds, I will be sure to let you know.

Dear Mr. David Nelms,

How are you today? I hope you are well.
I wish I could say the same but I am a little distressed. I keep getting letters from Discover asking me to apply for a credit card. These letters not only arrive at my permanent address, but they arrive at my parents' house too. Addressed to me. Duplicate letters. I haven't lived there in years. Never have I ever opened one of these letters. Not once. Not even as a joke. Straight to the shredder they go. Yes. I shred them. I shred these letters because God knows what kind of personal information you include in there and I don't want my identity stolen.

I am familiar with Discover card. I have seen the commercials. I have also been to enough restaurants, convenience stores and retail outlets to know that no one accepts Discover cards. Mastercard. Visa. American Express. Proprietary establishments accept these cards. Discover? Not so much. Who has a Discover card? No. Seriously. That wasn't a rhetorical question. I am seriously asking because I don't know one person who uses it.

Discover is like the Boost Mobile of the credit card industry. It's ghetto. You run a bootleg operation. You are the Kennedy Fried Chicken of fast food chicken joints. If you were a 1990's pump sneaker you would be the L.A. Gear, not Reebok. You are the RC Cola of the soft drink industry. The only way I would ever request a Discover card is if my credit was completely maxed out on all of my other credit cards and I was pre-approved. I would then max-out your pre-approved Discover card (if I could find a store that accepted it), declare Bankruptcy and go through great lengths to make sure you never collected the money I spent on the useless products I purchased with it.

Your company is killing so many trees by sending these letters out. How many trees have you killed today, David? I am not even talking about other people. I am just talking about tress you killed to send me junk mail! Please stop sending me these letters! You are ruining the environment for no reason! Plus you are spending money to send these out that could go toward health care or other benefits for your employees. Wouldn't that be money better spent?

Look. I know this letter is a little harsh. But I couldn't sugarcoat how I feel. It wouldn't be honest. It wouldn't be right. I imagine you are insulated in a board room bubble and you don't quite understand your company's perception to the general public. I am not some fringe loony. I'm not an ultra liberal hippy or a religious right conservative. I am a successful attorney and businessman. I have normal interests, hopes and dreams. I am John Q. America. If you want to improve the public perception of your company it's going to take a lot of work. First and foremost, business establishments have to start accepting your credit card. No one needs another piece of useless plastic in their wallet. Second, maybe your company should establish creative promotions that would encourage people to obtain one of your credit cards. Sending me tons of junk mail is not creative. It makes me angry. Low APR rates are not creative. EVERYONE HAS LOW INTRODUCTORY APR rates. You are turning people off from your company on multiple fronts. It's almost like you asked your employees to create a multi-pronged attack to annoy potential customers.

If you want to have a serious, frank conversation I would love to talk to you. I think I could give you a lot of insight. Clearly all of the money you are spending on market research is a complete waste. Your company could do a lot better. Don't you think you can do better?

Email me back if you are interested. I would be happy to talk at your convenience.

-Scott

11 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

That is an awesome letter. I'd be shocked if you got a reply but it is so true. Money/trees/employee benefits wasted. Keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

I have a Discover card and it's actually my favorite card. (I also have a Visa.) I've actually never encountered a restaurant or store that didn't accept it.

Erin T. said...

Ahahaha! Fantastic! You should open the envelopes, take out the postage paid return envelope, stuff whatever crap you can think of in there (receipts from your grocery store, post it note with a reminder to pick up dry cleaning, gum wrapper, etc) and send it back to them on on their postage.

Shorty said...

You said it PERFECTLY here: "First and foremost, business establishments have to start accepting your credit card. No one needs another piece of useless plastic in their wallet. Second, maybe your company should establish creative promotions that would encourage people to obtain one of your credit cards. Sending me tons of junk mail is not creative. It makes me angry. Low APR rates are not creative. EVERYONE HAS LOW INTRODUCTORY APR rates."

I do not have a Discover because where I'm from almost every business accepts Visa. All other cards are hit and miss.

Scott said...

Erin,

That's brilliant. I wish I thought of that. I am going to start doing that!

Jenni said...

Scott. You are as brilliant as always. That is the most well thought out expression about junk mail I have ever read. I hope you get a reply.

Erin, that is brilliant as well. I think I will try that next time, too.

Peeling Orange said...

I hope they'll reply but I'm sure it will be something among the 'than you for writing to us and we shall consider it.
Get a discovery card
Love."

Sam said...

Awesomeness all around. Also quite a lot of hilarity. Scott definitely send lots of gum wrappers. I think that will interest them.

monkeyfuel said...

That was Awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

The only thing you can do is call the 1-800 number attached to the mail piece. its usually a sales line, so they answer it right away. Then demand they take you off of thier mailing list. This is just one of many services that Lifelock provides for $10/month. not to mention identity theft protection. As a contracted representative of Lifelock I can offer you a 10% off discount on service at http://www.lifelock.com/landing/real/safe with promo code SAFEID1. Hope this helps.

Anonymous said...

so glad I found this to forward. i have a friend who's ONLY CC is a discover and I always tell her she is TRASH for having a discover card. complete trash.