Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Guardian Angel


Scott's Tip Of The Day: Have you ever been down in the dumps? You're just walking the lonely street at night, feeling helpless, like the world is against you. Tears stream down your face and you can barely see. You find yourself in a dark alley, thinking "Man, things can't get any worse. " Then your guardian angel comes out of nowhere. He reassures you, tells you it will all be ok. He gives you a big hug and caresses you for awhile. Then, suddenly, he dissapears. You walk home feeling better about yourself. Tomorrow is another day. You know you'll be ok. But, there is a problem here. That wasn't your guardian angel. That was a dirty, smelly homeless man who touched you inappropriately. Wasn't it weird when he hugged you for an unusually long time? Didn't you think it was a bit strange your guardian angel smelled like feces? Watch out for those homeless people, they'll get you every time.

17 comments:

Thinkinfyou said...

Thanks for the tip! I fall for that one every time! Damn homeless people!!!


I usually don't link on the first date,but I'll make an exception this time!!

BTW,have you signed up for humorbloggers.com? If you want to,you can use me as a reference. Just a thought!!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

There's nothing like a hug from a tramp to remind you how lucky you are to afford soap and water. Usually a bottle of grog in a brown paper bag is a pretty good sign that the tramp isn't in fact a gardian angel - well that and the overpowering hum that eminates from them. That's my tip of the day to you Scott - no need to thank me.

Broke But Still Drinking said...

Then the homeless man turns out to be your best friend in disguise. He's been trying to find a way to get closer to you and figures a vagrant is the most innocent approach.

What? It could happen.

I added the link.

AmyOops said...

Hey Scott, Sure would be happy to exchange links.

Btw join us over here
http://www.humorbloggers.com/

tell them i sent ya

Collie said...

Sure!!! I added your link!!!! ...

Rev. Hatter said...

Sure Ill add you why not.

sassafrasjunction said...

Is that homeless guy in the picture on a cell phone?!

ettarose said...

Scott, you sly old devil. I see you went and linked to some of the best. I would be glad to link to you. Please, I hope you will respect me in the morning. I also am at humor bloggers.com and add me as a reference also.

Cameron said...

Good stuff. Sure, I'll throw a link in my blogroll, looks like I'll be visiting here frequently. Another blog you might like (even though the douchebag is canadian) is:

http://othersideofnormal.com

VE said...

I've always wondered why the homeless have so much more hair than the non-homeless. Is there some key thing that allows them to keep their hair and we're missing it? Hair club for men should investigate.

Oh...and I once tried to hug a Charlies Angel for a long time. Yep...restraining order...

You'll be linked by the end of the week. I see all the humorblogger pimps are out already...ha ha. I'm there too though...

Scott said...

Humorbloggers actually rejected my application which is weird since all of you seem to appreciate my sense of humor....very strange but thanks for the references guys I will use you next time!

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Oh I feel so cheap. You made me feel like I was the most important link. And now I see you've been building a bloody chain-link fence.

How the Hell did you manage to take a picture of my ex? Usually he's camera shy.

Chris Wood said...

My guardian angel once pissed on me. Dirty fucker.

Great post!

~Static~ said...

That homeless guy sure gave me a tip alright! Hahaha Zo0MFG!

Wow, I can't believe humorbloggers.com turned ya down. I'll talk to Chelle B for ya, she and I are like this (twists fingers together and sucks on them) mmm, yeah, oh yes, that's it baby, uh-huh, you know what I like...YEAH.

What?
Can't a guy have some goddamn privacy?

Oh right...sorry.

Alex L said...

Well being touched is still being touched, smelling of poo or not, I'll take a hug whenever I can get one.

Ed the editor said...

I was going to hug a tramp til I read his placard _ "I have a great business idea, venture capitalists sought."

Dr. Dave said...

I missed this one, Scott...funny post.