Friday, January 30, 2009

George Foreman / Mufflers

Scott's Tip Of The Day: Ah, George Foreman. You have done pretty well for yourself. Not only were you two-time heavyweight champion of the world, but everyone I know has one of your George Foreman Grills. I have also seen you advertising for Meineke on TV. "You're not gonna pay a lot for a muffler. I guarantee it!" Well George, despite your success, I really can't take your word on that.
You guarantee it huh?
Can I really trust you? I don't even really know you. I do know a little about you, though....


-According to Wikipedia: 'Foreman has 10 children, and each of his five sons is named George: George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, and George VI. They are also known by the nicknames "Monk," "Red," "Joe," "Big Wheel," and "Little George."' OK. So we know George doesn't believe in birth control. We also know he named his five sons George. Not only that but he calls one of them Big Wheel. Hopefully the kid was born with legs and not wheels.

-Throughout George's professional boxing career he participated in 81 fights. Lets say for argument's sake he got punched in the head ten times during each one of his fights. In reality, it is a lot more, but lets be conservative. If George got punched in the head ten times in every fight, he would have been hit in the head a total of 810 times. That's 810 blows to the head by guys who weighed more than 200 pounds. That's a lot of blows to the head. (I guarantee it!)

-In 1993, George starred in one of the worst sitcoms ever, George which appeared on ABC. It was canceled pretty quickly because it was absolutely horrible.

So what can we conclude? Don't trust George Foreman! He may have good intentions, but I think as a general rule of thumb you can't really trust a man who has been hit in the head over 800 times. Especially since he exercized awful judgment naming all of his kids George (and calling one of them Big Wheel) and participating in the second worst TV show ever made(The worst TV show ever was the Geico Caveman series). Although I enjoy your grill, I know you had nothing to do with its design or function, so I can't really give you credit there. Your word is worthless, George Foreman. You guarantee to the world that Meineke has the cheapest muffler, and I want to believe you! I really do! But I can't! So what does this all mean? Before you purchase a new muffler you should shop around.


Mia Watts said...

Names of children cinched it for me. Am told his daughters are George too but called differently. Have not bothered to verify as my care factor for Mr. F is nil.

Do, however, enjoy the grill.

Anonymous said...

Why you be hatin' on George?

At least he didn't name his daughters George.

Ceci said...

You had me at the 810 (conservatively speaking, of course) blows to the head.

That's enough to make your brain skip.

Jan said...

I heard he named his daughters George, as well.

You now have the only human being in the Western hemisphere without a George Foreman grill as one of your readers.

Go ahead - you can touch me. You know you want to.

beth said...

I heard the grill IS pretty good.

Also, please add my blog to your blogroll:

ReformingGeek said...

You're right. He is probably missing a few screws up there. Remember Mohammad Ali. Total mush up there.

Nice post!

Beej the Pink Sheep said...

My redneck parents use their "Deluxe Machine Washable George Foreman with Bun Warmer" (TM) every single day! They use it for everything. Pork chops, hamburgers, hot dogs, grilled vegetables. Everything! I kid you not. In fact, I WISH I were joking.

Debbie said...

Of course, I also leave Jermaine Jackson's son - JerMajesty. Excellent names.

VE said...

I would have named all the girls Georgette...

Anna Lefler said...

That's it. I'm launching my own line of grills.

And changing my kids' names to "Anna."


:^) Anna

P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

JPT said...

10 head punches per fight!?
According to a recent compubox article the average fighter gets hit with 33 head punches per ROUND!!!

JPT said...

'Mohammad Ali. Total mush up there.'
Firstly, it's Muhammed not Mohammed,
and secondly, Muhammad Ali is not 'total mush up there', he has Parkinsons disease...