Ghostbusters

Scott's Tip Of The Day: Ray Parker Jr. really had a hit with the Ghostbusters theme. No one will deny it's a catchy tune. Regardless, I wouldn't recommend taking the song literally. It could get you into trouble. Let's go through verse by verse and I will show you what I mean:

If there's something strange
in your neighborhood
Who ya gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS

If you see suspicious activity in your neighborhood, call 9-1-1. When you pay taxes, a portion of that money goes toward your local police department. Policemen may be America's C students, but nonetheless, they are trained to handle these types of situations. Furthermore, if something weird is going down in your neighborhood, the odds are much greater it's gang activity rather than a a ghost named Slimer going wild. A cop with a gun will protect you better than 4 nerds with proton packs.

If there's something weird
and it don't look good
Who ya gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS

Again, please report suspicious activity to the police. It's free. Your taxes pay for it. Do you know how much it costs to run the ghost containment center in the Ghostbusters' basement? It's a fortune! You think they just come over and help you out for free? No! They have bills to pay. They don't show the Ghostbusters billing people in the movie, but that's what they do. The police provide their services for free. Call the police instead.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts
I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Even though Ray Parker Jr. is using a double negative I am still pretty sure he is not afraid of ghosts. Moving on...

If you're seeing things
running through your head
Who can ya call?
GHOSTBUSTERS

Presumably the Ghostbusters have PhD's. They are at the very least scientists. Qualified psychiatrists or psychologists? I don't know. You are much better off seeing a licensed professional if you are seeing things running through your head. If you have insurance, you are probably covered too. Unless you have the "Ghost Busting Policy" your insurance plan probably does not cover ghosts.

An invisible man
sleeping in your bed
Who ya gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS

If he is invisible, how do you know he sleeping? I am really starting to believe Ray Parker Jr. is more than a little bit paranoid.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts
I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Ok Ray, now you are just starting to repeat yourself. Who are you trying to convince here?

Who ya gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS

If ya all alone
pick up the phone
and call
GHOSTBUSTERS

Despite the lyrics, calling Ghostbusters when you are all alone, for no reason at all, may result in their secretary, Janine, ignoring any calls originating from your house.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts
I here it likes the ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Who ya gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS

Oh my God, Ray. We need to get you better, my friend!

If you've had a dose of a
freaky ghost baby
Ya better call
GHOSTBUSTERS

At this point, Ray Parker Jr. has completely lost me. I don't know where to get a dose of freaky ghost baby. I don't want to know. I think it's pretty obvious though that if I ever did get a dose of freaky ghost baby the Ghostbusters would be the only people who could really help. I mean, that goes without saying.


Lemme tell ya something
Bustin' makes me feel good!

Ok, I am going to stop the analysis right here. Bustin makes you feel good? Really? Kids are listening to your song, Ray! That's gross! Can't you keep it in your pants? I mean, even if you can't, do you have to sing songs about it? You disgust me! Anyway, I hope you learned something today. Ray Parker Jr. is a sexual deviant, and taking the theme to Ghostbusters literally may lead to undesirable results.