Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ex-Wives



Scott's Tip Of The Day: It's got to be hard going through a divorce. I can't even pretend to know what that's like. I'm sure there are all sorts of emotions going through one's head. And if you have kids together with your significant other? That has to be tough too. You can't just make a clean break. It's better for the kids if you have a decent relationship with your ex.

Charlie Sheen understands this. That's why he went out to dinner with his ex, Denise Richards the other day. What he failed to realize, however, is that bringing a prostitute to dinner with your ex, is frowned upon in most, if not all, social contexts. Furthermore, excusing yourself during dinner to have sex with a prostitute in a restaurant bathroom is also looked down upon. Oh well. You live, you learn, right? Better luck next time, Charlie!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Support Your Significant Other And Their Hobbies



Scott's Tip Of The Day: You have to support your significant other and their hobbies. For instance if your boyfriend plays air guitar, taking it away and hiding it is pretty cruel. Especially since it's invisible and will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to find. Maybe next time encourage their air guitar playing so they can be more like C. Diddy, the ultimate air guitarist. He has Hello Kitty on his chest! HELLO KITTY!!! So where am I going with this? Laura, give me my air guitar back!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Whiskey - Which one to drink?



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Whiskey. There are a lot of different brands of whiskey. And I'm not even including scotch or bourbon in this conversation. So which whiskey should you choose? Which whiskey has the best flavor? The most bang for your buck? Well I can tell you which one you shouldn't drink. This one. Whiskey made from a diabetic's urine. Gross. Seriously, people. Don't. Just don't.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Gun Rights



Scott's Tip Of The Day: The second amendment established the right to bear arms. Why? To keep the British out of our houses! Has it worked? Hell yeah! I haven't had any problems with Limeys breaking into my house in as long as I can remember. Even though the United States has been at peace with England for quite some time, the right to bear arms still exists. Do I have a problem with this? Eh. No, not really. Do I have a problem with the new state laws springing up which allow people to bring loaded guns into bars? Yes!

Have you ever been to college? I think everyone knows a guy who got so drunk he couldn't see straight and either....

a)hooked up with the ugliest girl/guy you have ever seen
b)passed out in his own hurl
c)started a fight with a stranger for no reason
d)all of the above.

Yeah, sure. Some people grow out of it. But others don't. And yeah a lot of the people who bring loaded guns to bars never even went to college. But maybe that makes it even worse? Do we really want to put loaded guns into these people's hands? Fights will get out of control pretty quickly. One moment you will be arguing with a stranger over who was the boss on Who's The Boss? (Mona or Angela?), and the next minute you'll be lying on the ground of a bar with a bullet hole in your leg. If you live in a state that allows loaded guns in bars then either bring a Kevlar vest or refrain from arguing over Who's The Boss. It's not worth it!