Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Farting & Fortune Telling

Scott's Tip Of The Day: Do you like to speculate about the future? Do you like to fart? Well stay away from Malawi because a bill is about to be presented in Parliament banning fortune telling and farting. You can read about it here.

I was always under the impression that Africa had bigger problems. Malaria. AIDS Starvation. Violence. Those tribeswomen with the rings around their neck. And perhaps the most tragic of all: poor kids in the street listening to Thriller because they think that's the new coolest thing to come out of America. That was 30 years ago! Can't you at least try to get with the times? Can't you take at least a tiny step forward in time and start listening to A-Ha or Duran Duran? If you're unwilling to cooperate I'm going to take away your giant ball of electrical tape. The one you've been using as a soccer ball. Never mind. I'm not that cruel. But I will take away your 2008 Patriots Superbowl champion shirt.

I think given these circumstances it would be in everyone's best interests to just cross Malawi off your travel list. Why travel somewhere you can't fart? While you're at it add Egypt, North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq, the Jersey Shore and Staten Island. I would leave these places off your travel list until it is safe to travel to them or their tourism boards buy advertising space on my blog.

Any questions, comments or concerns? The (juris) doctor is in. I'll help you out. I'll set you straight. I'll fix you up. Dating advice? No problem. Moral quandary? Talk to me. Weird growth on your chin? Uhhh better see a real doctor for that one. scottstipoftheday@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. (Unless you are my long lost uncle from Nigeria who suddenly died and left me $1,000,000.)


Rachel Hoyt said...

I think they're just trying to ban the fart because then (someday) it will become a lost art. :o)

Rhyme Me a Smile

BB said...

Hey, hey what's wrong with Seaside, Wildwood, Belmar, Point Pleasant, Atlantic City, Cape May? haha.

wheatgerm said...

its good for you

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Unknown said...

the interesting thing is, the reason no one should go to the jersey shore, or staten is because it smells like a gigantic fart.