Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Arnold Schwarzenegger



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Here's to you Arnold Schwarzuh.....nager? negger? I'm 27-years-old and I still can't write your name correctly without looking it up. Why couldn't you have gotten one of those easy Hollywood names? Arnie Shwarz!! Anyway, I digress. This post is dedicated to you Arnie. I tip my hat to you. You clearly have a good sense of humor. My tip of the day to the rest of you is to go out and watch an Arnold Schwarz........ movie. Commando. T2. Whatever. Since he left acting no one has really been able to fill his shoes. Sorry Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel. Also, for a good laugh, check out the Arnold Soundboard. I had some good times in College pranking people with it.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Broken Netflix DVD



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Breaking your Netflix DVD before returning it is not a cool thing to do. Some of us like to watch those movies. But we can't. Cause you broke it. How did you scratch the DVD that deep? How did you smash it into all of those little pieces. You know how badly I wanted to watch that movie? You ruined my weekend. Was it you Mr. Postman? Maybe you need a satchel from this century. Yeah, your standard issue 1988 Postman satchel isn't cutting it anymore. So buy a new one.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Balloon Kid



Scott's Tip Of The Day: If you wreck your parents' stuff (stuff includes, but is not limited to bizarre homemade weather balloons), the attic is a great place to hide until the situation blows over.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Field Of Dreams - Looking Back On A Classic



Scott's Tip Of The Day: Ever see Field of Dreams? It's a classic. I guess. Honestly, I never really got into all of the hoopla. I couldn't get past how unrealistic it was.

SCOTT'S PROBLEMS WITH FIELD OF DREAMS

1)In real life if you were to tell anyone, whether they are a relative or a stranger, that you have voices inside your head, you would be sent to a psychiatrist and be put on medicine for schizophrenia. You would not be encouraged to listen to those voices.

2)James Earl Jones played Terrence Mann, a recluse author in the film. Kevin Costner's character, Ray Kinsella, befriended him about halfway through the movie. For a good 10 minutes toward the end of the movie, Mann sat around listening to Kinsella's brother in law talk about foreclosing on Ray's house. Terrence Mann was a Pulitzer prize winner, and presumably a millionaire. In real life Mann would have helped Kinsella out. He wouldn't have just sat there watching ghosts play baseball, ignoring the whole conversation. "Shhhhhh. Stop talking about foreclosing on the house. I'm tryin' to watch some ghost baseball over here!"

3)At the end of the film, cars drive from all over to watch the ghosts play baseball in an Iowa cornfield. Did you see that row of cars driving to the field? Totally unrealistic. There was definitely not enough parking for all of these people, not to mention nowhere for them to sit. What about snacks? Beers? If Kinsella is trying to pay off his overdue mortgage, the real moneymaker would be beer, wouldn't it? Who is going to keep track of all of the people? He had no admission gates constructed, people could just walk right in and say they paid. Also, was Kinsella's property zoned for ghost baseball games? He didn't even check with town hall about that. "Excuse me, I am in town hall, right? Could you please direct me to the person who could best answer my questions on ghost baseball zoning?"

Don't buy into Field of Dreams. It makes no sense. You know what makes sense? Turning the TV off the next time it comes on and reading a book instead. But you don't have to take my word for it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Stand Your Ground


Scott's Tip Of The Day: Fight for what you believe. Stand your ground. Don't back down. Especially in prison. when someone threatens your freedom? You go after them! When someone has a different view of the economy than you. You shove 'em! Yeah, Bernie Madoff! And we all thought he was going to be the prison bitch. Think again people. Bernie Madoff will shove you into submission if you cross him, so think twice before provoking him.