2010 Questions/Answers Installment 11

Scott's Tip Of The Day:

I received the following e-mail in my inbox this morning...

Dear Scott,
I like your blog. I also like muffins. Do you like muffins? Cunningham muffins are the best. See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tcR19y7GPM
Also, this is completely unrelated, but are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? Vampires or werewolves? Nosferatu or Loup-garou? If you could be one, which one would you be? I think I'd be a vampire and then I would get a blood muffin from Cunningham muffns. Plus, if I were a vampire I wouldn't have to wake up in the morning. I hate mornings and morning people piss me off. They would be the people I would eat first.

Domo Origato, Mr Scott-o.

Sincerely,
Brittany aka Looksie Lovitz (No relation to John Lovitz, as clearly this is not my real name and besides, John Lovitz is clearly superior. Why isn't The Critic still on TV??)

http://looksielovitz.blogspot.com/ <<==If you are expecting this to be a hilarious blog. It isn't. At all. It's my really corny book blog that in no way fully expresses my hilarity and awesomeness, but if I don't release my excess corny-ness, it takes over and makes me less awesome. So I recommend not visiting it unless you want to see me obsess about fictional 17 yr old boys. But if that's what you're into, it's cool. I don't judge.

Looksie Lovitz,

I am glad you like my blog, Looksie. I checked out yours. Books and Wits. We don't have the same taste in literature but I won't hold that against you. You like to read. You're passionate about it. I respect your difference in opinion. I mean you could do something crazy like obsess over Twilight instead, right? Oh wait. You already do that.

Believe it or not I have stayed as far away from the Twilight series as possible. I am not a huge fan of vampires. The 1922 film, Nosferatu, was the original vampire flick and it had anti-semetic undertones. Google it. There's a wealth of information on the subject. The vampire represents the "Jewish Plague." As a Jew, that doesn't really make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'm not big into the anti-semitism. Despite what you hear, I have no vampire super powers....unless you consider a Jew-nose a super power. I tend to get allergies, so no, I don't even have a super sense of smell.

Furthermore, Twilight just looks like a gay porn without the sex. The pretty boys can't act and the dialogue leaves a little to be desired. If I wanted to watch gay porn I would rent gay porn. I prefer to use my leisure time pursuing other more constructive activities. Like writing ridiculous letters to the makers of Jack Daniels and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yeah. I really did that. So far no response though. But I digress...

Your youtube muffin link is frightening. Maybe the Yom Kippur fast is dulling my sense of humor but I am just not digging it, I'm sorry.

I never used to be a morning person but then I got a job where I have to get to work early. I'm a morning person now, but not by choice, so please don't drink my blood. Since you like Jon Lovitz, maybe drink his? He is a pretty big dude. Plenty of blood. I used to watch the Critic too but I saw an episode recently and it hasn't aged well. There's a lot of good TV on these days. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Eastbound and Down. The Life and Times of Tim. You have other options so I would look toward the future and not get hung up on the past.

I wish you luck with your blog though, Looksie and even though we have our differences I still appreciate your fan mail. I'd check out some other authors though. Tom Wolfe. Hunter S. Thompson. Brett Easton Ellis. Ken Kesey. These guys write good stuff and their books aren't in the kids section. Check em out. But you don't have to take my word for it. Buh nuh nuh!