The Dell Customer Service Chats Volume 3

Scott's Tip of The Day: If you have been following my Dell Customer Service Chat series then you are well aware I encountered many problems with my Dell laptop in 2005. I also had adapter problems. And now....that's right...laptop BAG problems. Even my laptop bag broke. I promise you, I am not a mongoloid. I'm not Lenny from of Mice and Men. I never meant to kill that lady...I mean break my laptop bag...and laptop adapter....and laptop. Anyway, enough chit chat, let's get down to brass tacks...

Welcome to Dell Chat. Please wait for an available agent. You will be notified when your chat is accepted by an agent.
The session has been accepted.
{David 3:16:48 PM} Welcome to Dell Sales Chat. My name is David. I'll be your personal sales agent.How can I help you today?

{ 3:17:03 PM} Hey David!

{David 3:17:15 PM} Hi.

{ 3:17:23 PM} You must be in texas

{David 3:17:33 PM} Yup

{ 3:17:33 PM} Thank God they arent sending me all the way over to India!
{ 3:17:47 PM} Last time I needed an AC adapter and they wanted to ship me headphones
{ 3:18:00 PM} they were sending me wrong links, it was horrible then they yelled at me, basically scolded me
{ 3:18:08 PM} Anyway I have this dell bag that came with my computer
{ 3:18:13 PM} And it just totally broke

{David 3:18:22 PM} What system do you have?

{ 3:18:25 PM} I have had it for a little over a year but the hinges that hold the handle collapsed
{ 3:18:31 PM} I have a dell 600m inspiron
{ 3:18:46 PM} But i mean, should my bag collapse after only a year of light use?

{David 3:19:28 PM} It shouldn't have.

{ 3:20:00 PM} is there some sort of quality guarantee?
{ 3:20:09 PM} Can I send it back and get it fixed or a new one or somethin?
{ 3:20:16 PM} i bought it with my computer
{ 3:20:22 PM} I spent like eleventy billion dollars on it

{David 3:20:41 PM} =)
{David 3:20:45 PM} You have to talk to customer care about that.

{ 3:20:56 PM} Can i speak online?
{ 3:21:01 PM} I am actually in class right now
{ 3:21:06 PM} I am a law student
{ 3:21:19 PM} Thats why i need a bag to carry it around, to look smart, but really i just talk to people online all day
{ 3:21:22 PM} it's a pretty good scam

{David 3:21:38 PM} Ha..

{ 3:21:44 PM} phone calls are hard to make from class, once i did at my professor yelled at me
{ 3:21:52 PM} he told me i was being rude

{David 3:22:03 PM} They have a chat link too, let me get it.

{ 3:22:05 PM} Can you believe the nerve of the guy? It was a job interview, i told the professor to cram it and he kicked me out
{ 3:22:20 PM} but i got the job, they said they liked my go get em attitude

{David 3:22:40 PM} that's great.
{David 3:22:53 PM} You can contact Customer Care by going to www.dellcustomercare.com or by calling 1-800-915-3355 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              1-800-915-3355      end_of_the_skype_highlighting ext. 72-66966.

{ 3:23:23 PM} thanks David, or can I call you dave?
{ 3:23:35 PM} Maybe we can dispense with formalities and I can call you Dave-O or davey boy
{ 3:23:40 PM} Perhaps Davey Crocket
{ 3:24:20 PM} My dad called himself davey crocket, his name wasnt even david!

{David 3:24:23 PM} Dave is fine, what's yours?

{ 3:24:29 PM} My name is Scott
{ 3:24:39 PM} So are you in the middle of nowhere texas today?

{David 3:25:18 PM} just on the edge

{ 3:25:33 PM} I heard a rumor that sometimes dell reps are slow to respond because they are playing like crazy games like snood online, is that true or just an urban legend?

{David 3:26:10 PM} It's just talk. We have a gazillion things to do while taking in chats and calls.

{ 3:26:15 PM} I bet you are good at snood, you strike me as a snood player with solid fundamental skills
{ 3:26:26 PM} i used to work at a gym, all i played was snood
{ 3:26:33 PM} They loved me cause i showed up on time

{David 3:26:45 PM} Not that well actrually

{ 3:27:05 PM} Well they say practice makes perfect, How is it working at dell?
{ 3:27:15 PM} A friend of mine wants to move down there and start workin with computers

{David 3:27:57 PM} it's great, lots of benefits and stuff. But the work load is just, well you know what I mean.

{ 3:28:22 PM} Yeah the workload is never great, the trick is to drag it out
{ 3:28:38 PM} Like this conversation right here, you just take like 2 hours to do it, then your boss says we can work on this, we need some improvement
{ 3:28:48 PM} then you say ok i will work on it, and you just drag the next one out an hour and a half
{ 3:29:03 PM} And they think you are brilliant cause you like improved efficiency by 25 percent
{ 3:29:21 PM} Then you get a promotion, before you know it you have a hot lady on your lap, you're throwin your money around

{David 3:29:34 PM} Wish it was that easy

{ 3:29:37 PM} Thats what my dad said the key to success is, though he is a confirmed alcoholic
{ 3:29:43 PM} he is slightly delusional
{ 3:30:10 PM} I mean imagine being 6 and waking up and thinking its the tooth ferry but its your dad urinating on your new life size mickey mouse doll from disney world
{ 3:30:14 PM} it was a rough childhood

{David 3:30:46 PM} That's sad

{ 3:30:49 PM} But now i am going to law school
{ 3:30:53 PM} I plan to sue his pants off
{ 3:31:20 PM} he has all of this money in all sorts of crazy accounts
{ 3:31:25 PM} he has fake names and stuff
{ 3:31:43 PM} So how do you like living on the edge of the middle of nowhere?

{David 3:32:32 PM} kinda
miss the coast

{ 3:32:38 PM} which one?
{ 3:32:45 PM} I live just outside of NYC

{David 3:33:53 PM} West, LA

{ 3:34:09 PM} Oh man a california boy!
{ 3:34:15 PM} how did you end up in texas!?

{David 3:34:17 PM} All the way
{David 3:34:45 PM} Trying to catch a girl,

{ 3:35:05 PM} OH MAN, i know
{ 3:35:22 PM} they make you do crazy things

{David 3:35:34 PM} yeah, but we broke up. i'm free again.

{ 3:35:44 PM} I went to El Salvador once with Peace Core, following a girl
{ 3:35:54 PM} She fell in love with this indigenous Mayan Tribesman
{ 3:36:13 PM} Now she lives in a hut! I am a trust fund baby and she chose a MAYAN over me!

{David 3:37:01 PM} well you know how they think

{ 3:37:12 PM} Do they think?
{ 3:37:26 PM} I think they just act, and ask me for things
{ 3:37:31 PM} Scott can you pay my car loan
{ 3:37:40 PM} Scott can you take me on vacation
{ 3:38:02 PM} Scott can you pay for my herpes medication!
{ 3:38:08 PM} Scott can you take me to dinner
{ 3:38:15 PM} I mean whine whine whine it was probably for the best

{David 3:38:24 PM} Yeah

{ 3:38:34 PM} so are you gonna head back to cali

{David 3:38:59 PM} don't know yet, still enjoying it here

{ 3:39:07 PM} it must be a lot different
{ 3:39:27 PM} Is texas backwards compared with california?
{ 3:39:40 PM} do you get a lot of attitude cause you are "californian"
{ 3:40:11 PM} Once I went to kentucky and they threatened to "gimme a whoopin" if i didn't "Go on and dun not git"
{ 3:40:17 PM} I dont even know what that means!
{ 3:41:55 PM} needless to say i left

{David 3:42:02 PM} Sometimes, though they say I'm getting the texan accent or something like that

{ 3:42:14 PM} oh no!!!
{ 3:42:19 PM} Do you say "Y'all"
{ 3:42:36 PM} that's the hump, once you cross that line fwoooshhhh forget it man, you're a goner

{David 3:42:45 PM} try to avoid it

{ 3:43:03 PM} yeah, do you do stereotypical texan things now like go to High school ball games
{ 3:43:19 PM} and then talk about it in your local hangout like the barbershop or the Sip N Go

{David 3:43:34 PM} sometimes, can't avoid it

{ 3:43:45 PM} Oh man, we gotta get you back to california
{ 3:44:14 PM} What did you do in college, did you do computer stuff

{David 3:44:21 PM} not yet, the pay is better here. hahaha.

{ 3:44:37 PM} haha

{David 3:45:03 PM} would you believe i'm an animator, old school

{ 3:45:27 PM} thats awesome, i love to doodle
{ 3:45:34 PM} OH i have a serious question for you, I talked to this girl last time I needed help with my adapter, her name was Paulette, does she work in the same office with you?

{David 3:46:08 PM} hey man, sorry to cut this off, ny sups looking into this chat and giving me the look already. Have to go

{ 3:46:29 PM} Ok well thanks for your help
{ 3:46:39 PM} Good luck with everything, don't let the man get you down

{David 3:46:55 PM} Yup.

Thank you for contacting Dell Sales Chat. Have a nice day.
{ 3:47:00 PM} you too

So just for the record, I am not a trust fund baby, I am definitely not a misogynist and I have never been to El Salvador. David seemed like a nice guy and I didn't want to get him into trouble so I decided to exit the conversation gracefully instead of getting his supervisors mad at him. Did David ever move back to California? Did he start saying "y'all?" Boy, I wish I knew. Unfortunately, I tried to look up "David" in Texas, and wouldn't ya know, there are a whole lotta Davids down there. Who'da thunk it? Well David, wherever you are. I wish you well.

My advice? Maybe don't purchase a Dell computer, laptop or adapter. Dell stuff really likes to break.

If you have any questions for me, the all-knowing Scott, feel free to hit me up at scottstipoftheday@gmail.com. I would be happy to answer any question you might have.