Jack Daniels

Scott's Tip Of The Day: Don't write letters to Jack Daniels expecting a response. After waiting about a week, I have come to terms with the fact that a response is unlikely. If per chance they do respond I will update this blog entry and post the reply.

Anyway, this is what I wrote them....


Dear Jack Daniels,

Yesterday was my 21st birthday. We don't usually celebrate birthdays where I come from (Swaziland) so it was a momentous occasion. My family and I recently moved to New Jersey and I am having a great time learning about the United States.

My birthday was actually the first time I ever consumed alcohol. My father bought me a bottle of Jack Daniels for this special day and he told me this was a very American drink. A special drink that when consumed in large quantities could make me extremely happy. I thanked my father. I drank a pint glass of Jack Daniels. I was expecting it to taste like Coca Cola but it was very harsh going down. I gagged a few times but I did not want to disappoint my father so I consumed the whole glass. Shortly thereafter, I became very dizzy and vomited. My father got very disappointed in me and questioned my masculinity. It was very very embarrassing. Did I do something wrong when consuming your beverage? Is it possible that there was something wrong with it? Please let me know. My father and I are not currently on speaking terms because I refuse to finish the bottle.

Thanks.

Who works in customer service over there? You have a quality control issue on your hands! Snap to it!