Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Top 10 Wackiest TV Neighbors

Scott's Tip Of The Day: So you are out of a job. How can you make some extra money? Well first you have to ask yourself what you are good at. Watching TV? Well why don't you write a sitcom. You don't know anything about writing television shows? That's ok. The most important part of a sitcom is the wacky neighbor. A sitcom aint a sitcom if there is no wacky neighbor. Let me show you what I mean:


10. Quagmire from Family Guy

Quagmire will stick his penis into anything. And he is a cartoon! What could be wackier than that?

9. Mr. Furley from Three's Company
Erratic body movements, ridiculous faces.... Doesn't Don Knotts look like he could have a full-out stoke at any minute?

8. Kimmy Gibler from Full House
If Kimmy Gibler fell drowned in a kiddy pool no one would miss her. Nonetheless you can't say she's not wacky.

7. Urkel from Family Matters
He likes cheese. He's a clutz. You kind of want to stab him. Yeah...he's wacky.

6. Ned Flanders from The Simpsons
The church loving, english garbling neighbor of the Simpsons. He's kind of demented in a less obvious way. I felt bad for not including him in my top 10 best mustaches so I figured I would make up for it by throwing him on this list.

5. Marcy from Married With Children
The sole woman to make this list (Sorry Kimmy Gibler, I am calling your sexuality into question). Marcy always seems to have PMS. She has a bizarre sex life, and she voluntarily hangs out with Peg Bundy. What's wrong with her?

4. Vinny from Doogie Howser M.D.
Vinny, you stereotypical Italian bastard, why don't you learn to use the front door instead of climbing into Doogie's window all the time?

3. Cockroach from The Cosby Show
More of a friend than a neighbor. He goes by the name Cockroach though. That's amusing enough. I wanted to use Rudy's chubby white friend who lives next door but I couldn't find any pictures of him on the internet. I am surprised nobody started a fan club for that kid. I wonder where he is now....

2. Boner from Growing Pains
His name is Boner! Need I say more?

1. Kramer from Seinfeld
He's like every wacky neighbor rolled into one. He has so many idiosyncrasies I don't know where to begin. He's pretty entertaining though.

Anyway, if you follow one of these wacky neighbor models your show is bound to be a success. Just don't forget old Scott over here when you get your royalty checks from the network.


Anonymous said...

I can't believe you would leave me off this list! I lived in a trailer outside my families house and refused to go inside even though it caused our energy bill to skyrocket. I used to pour tons of chocolate syrup into my mouth and then drink milk right out of the carton making chocolate milk in my mouth. Not to mention that I constantly have such a dumb look on my face that I make Keanu Reeves look like a Rhodes Scholar. Don't be afraid of me just because I was in Kickboxer 3 and if you add me to the list I'll tell you a secret about Patrick Duffy.

Anonymous said...

That picture of Urkel is priceless!

Dalton J. Fox said...

I think I will be scarred for life after seeing that Urkel picture.

I've gotta agree with you most of this list. About the only thing I'd change is I'd have Rudy's friend Kenny from The Cosby Show instead of Cockroach.

Scott said...

You know what? I completely forgot about Kenny. I still would have probably picked Cockroach just based on the fact he calls himself Cockroach

Anonymous said...

ummm, what about ed norton?

or fred and ethel?

Anonymous said...

How about WILSON from the hilarious family comedy Home Improvement? Think of the hours of genius that went into creating all of the WACKY ways that WILSON could NOT show his face! Oh man, I really thought I was gonna see him this time... better tune in next week!!


Jennifer Good said...

Max Castella is awesome, though! I can only think of him in Newsies.

As for Wacky neighbors, what about Dale from King of the Hill? Or....I can't think of anymore, maybe you ought to do a list of "Most Forgettable TV Neighbors"?

Kathy said...

Peter (the white fat kid) from The Cosby Show has always been very underrated.

Here's a picture:

I feel that some of yours are less neighbors and more friends of teenage kids. (Are you sure Boner lived next door?)

What about the classic wacky TV neighbor, Larry from Three's Company?

Frank Irwin said...

I didn't watch the show, but I thought Urkel was one of the main characters. Learn something new and useless every day, I guess.

I was waiting for Boner to come up.

Oh, wait, that didn't come out right...